The shambles that I call my life...

how far along are you?!

2010-07-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

So my sister was pregnant, and that began to create a lot of anxiety and tension in the Nettuno household. Leading up to this baby was not pretty. For one my mom would run to the phone(literally run) every time it rang, and would not take my advice of moving the portable phone to where ever she would be sitting. Also some people in our lives try to be prophetic and just throw out random dates, well I was not going to accept any of that so I was inwardly spiting all these people, praying the opposite of whatever day they said. Because my family does not have enough to argue/debate about my youngest sister tried to be one of these prophetic people because and I quote here "she knows about babies and can just feel it." So me and my father (instead of supporting her) started making bets against her. Anyway all the prophesied dates past, my mom had cleaned pretty much everything in the house, so it was time for this baby to come...
I had gone to the beach that day and as always had not applied the proper amount of sunscreen so I was burned pretty much everywhere and I fell asleep rather quickly that night trying to situate myself in a way that did not hurt. I had been completely knocked out when my door burst open and I hear my mother scream she is having the baby we got to go NOW! Here is the situation when I look at the clock and see that it is only 1:30 "NOW" is not something I can just produce. So my mom and my dad leave and I am to take me and maureen. This time I am told to "HURRY" and once again "hurry" is another one of those concepts that does not register until much later in the day(and sometimes not even then). Due to my sunburn clothing options are limited so I end up in a dress that is way to short but I am validated when Maureen comes out wearing something of equal length. And what seemed like an ok fashion statement at the time quickly proved otherwise, as it was now 2 am we are dressed like hookers, I have no gas and we are driving through the ghetto...yeah not so great. So I pull into one gas station and of course there is no gas there just a car full of creepers, so we vacate that one and try and make it to the next one. By the grace of God we did but it was definately sketch town USA out there. After the gas we make it to the hospital, we go inside and this is where my new favorite person Jim joins the story.Jim was a late night security guard, who you could tell wanted to be on the force but for what would become apparent later, he did not possess the skills.And he had his police mini scanner turned up so he could follow along. The dialouge is as follows.(I am not happy when I am tired so my tone during all of this probably is making him think I am about to pull a concealed weapon on him...I can't fake niceness at 2:15 am)
J: "Good morning how can I help you?"
D: "We need to go to labor and delivery."
J: "O are you seeing a patient?"
D:9in my mind i am thinking DUH why else would I say that)"yes we are here to see my sister"
J: (says this to my 14 yr old sister, without a hint of joking in his voice)how far along are you?"
D:(jim is not producing the results I want so my patience went from a 1 to a -5) "she is Not pregnant my sister is already up there we are trying to go see her..."
J: " O i just..." "it has been a long night"
D:" yeah NO"
J: "ok I am going to need to see some ID" (looks at Maureen) "I am guessing you do not have any?"(this was in a tone that he took due to her hooker dress I believe)
D:(in her defense and to let him know I was angry at him calling her pregnant)YEAH she is 14!"
J:(looks at Maureen) "O...wow..."
D:( I have had enough of jim by this point)
J:(to me now) " well are only like 19-20 yourself..."
D:(really I had NO idea how old I was in fact I was not coming to see my sister but to find out how old I was...!)
J: "has she had the baby yet?"
D: "probably by the time I get up there!"( yeah all politeness was lost too)
J: "well I am trying to get you up there as soon as I can"(Really Jim I feel like you are LYING)
J: (then he tries to call the third floor)"sorry that was the wrong number"
then he calls the real number and tells them that he has two people coming up to see...(he could not pronounce Bryan, what a surprise)so I assist him and then he asks the lady if she has had the baby yet and hangs up. He then says o she would not tell me if she had it yet. And I am just like give me the freaking sticker and I can find out for myself JIM!We finally make it up there and guess what in our lovely time with Jim, my sister had the baby. But luck for us my sister is semi crazy so I did not miss hearing her name, or seeing her. In waiting to see her me and Tori need snacks so we go and get some and think that getting that vending machine espresso will be a good idea too. Well we were WAY wrong and that caused me to dry heave and tori to throw up all over the pavement. We return victorious to the waiting room though because we purchased 15 cookies for 85 cents, and that was a steal.finally at 4 am we get to see the beautiful baby! what a night!

bands, burns, and bruises....

2010-07-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

Warp tour is one thing that I really enjoy. If you were to look at it from an outsiders point of view you probably would not understand why, for a couple of reasons...there is like an hour long line you have to wait in, it is 98 degrees outside and you are outside...all day, there are a BUNCH of wanna be scene kids ranging from 14-17 that just make me want to rip out all their extensions, water costs more than at Disney, and at the end of the day you end up smelling and probably looking like a homeless person. But this is still an event that I cherish. Only thing is whenever I plan on doing something or there is a schedule something inevitably goes wrong.
Me and Tori set out at 9:45 to make this glorious trip and we make it in good time and then we hit the line that I was mentioned before. It was like 2 miles of traffic bumper to bumper just sitting there. So we sit in that for like 20 minutes and we begin think of ways to avoid this line and so idea number one was for me (in traffic) to stick myself out of the sunroof to see how close we are. So I do this and it does not exactly work because I can't see anything. So we risk it, and are going to try and get in through a different access point. This was a better idea but once again I find myself looking out the sunroof and we were still in some traffic. Now we have been there for about an hour and just about to make it into the parking lot when Tori says..."I hate everything right now, I am so pissed." I knew immediately what this meant...we forgot the tickets! So then we drive around calling her mother trying to figure out the best option and let's just say me and Tori should never be part of a brainstorming think tank or any career that involves planning. We finally decide to just drive back get the tickets and have her parents drive us back and drop us off(so we will end up looking like the scene kids I loathe so much lol). Tori just wants to make it back and so we are booking it down the 408 and it was that day I realized that aggressive drivers really do get their way. Because no one stayed in the left lane, everyone saw us coming and moved over immediately. But this caused anxiety in me, for it brought back the flashbacks of when I got pulled over because we were listening to TDWP(which I was too) and just barreling down the road. But she, unlike me, made it back without a ticket.
We get back and get our tickets and we are off, for the second time. When we get there Tori wants to be let out a little bit past the place but Reina says she doesn't like that idea because she feels like she is "letting out prostitutes" and yet the way they picked us up was having us wait on a street corner until they called us to walk over to their car. Personally I feel like that is more sketch. Anyway we are finally in, and the day just keeps getting better.
Well a couple of situations arose when it came to mosh pits, but all-in-all it ended well. During one set a mosh pit broke out right behind me and some kid like landed on my ankle and his shoe scrapped off a layer of my skin, let's just say I was not too happy about this. Then during another set I found myself right in the middle of one and all you do in that situation is go with the flow, so I was moshing but ever looking for a way out, that is when Tori yanks on the back of my top and pulls me out, saying "you should have seen your face." Crowd surfers were not as much of a problem this year because I kept an eye out for them, unlike last time where out of no where some guys crotch dropped on my face knocking me down. But the lead singer from Breathe Carolina nearly killed Tori, for he decided to crowd surf with his microphone which the cord tangled itself around her twice. (he wasn't the brightest because at the end of the set he jumped off the stage with a surf board and it did not end that well). Also during the Breathe Carolina set I got mauled by a bunch of 13 yr olds when the other singer came down because apparently everyone needs to touch him. But the main situation that needs to be addressed is the new form of moshing...or lack there of. Basically all people do is create a circle and run as fast as they can around and around and around...all I can say is LAME! I mean that is the most retarded thing and it happened at like every show. But it is all good because no longer do I have to feel self-conscience thinking that people are looking at me thinking who is that girl, they can now all advert their attention to the losers running around.
Now whenever I go somewhere that has alcohol it always gets spilled on me. ALWAYS! But I thought I was going to be lucky because I made it all day with out a single drop, but I was wrong. At the last show out of no where someone throws a whole cup of beer up in the air and it lands all over me, not just sprinkling me, but coating me in a glorious layer of nasty. So the day is now officially over, until I am waiting outside for our ride and someone drives by and throws more beer on me from their car...now the day is over, and I get to enter the car as stated before looking and smelling like a bum. At the hotel we are very tired and entering in the stage where nothing matters, and yet everything is funny. And this is not good because we end up barefoot and gross looking in the lobby looking around for the pool, and then at the pool laughing like the drunks we inadvertently smell like. Tori forgot to take of her eye makeup and we get into a situation with some 12yr old boys who are totally freaked out and have no idea what to do, one asks if he can use his squirt gun to get it off, I am laughing so hard, but don't want them to hear so I go under water but that i not smart cause then I loose control and start to drown. The kids then try to tell us how one of them can't talk to girls and the other is called a "man hoe" back home. So we get away from that situation, but then the pool closes and we have no towels so we have to wait with the security as he calls us some in asap. Sleep does not come till late that night which was not a smart choice because my sister decided to go into what she thought was labor that morning. So we had to get up early due to all the phone calls, but turns out it was not labor...we were not too happy about this. So the whole day was eventful as life always is, and now I have a very awkward sunburn that needs to be addressed.

let 'em judge..They don't know...

2010-03-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

Last time I went to Christmas coffee house and was a little disappointing, and this spring did not do much better, at least from my evaluation stand point. This time I was smart though and made sure I had my ticket and car parked before all the traffic and stressful situations ensued on campus because we all know I that me, stress, and traffic do not create the most delightful situation. Since I had my life together I had time to watch some Criminal Minds before coffee house, but I guess to replace the drama that I normally have with coffee house, this took its place. My DVD player is on the decline and only works on its terms, and because it is a machine there is no way for it to voice its terms so I am constantly praying that it will decide to work when I want it to, but normally it does not! So I think I have it working and I have like 7 people in the room all ready to watch this and then it happens...SCRATCH! O I am livid trying to play it cool, these are new discs and I had not even watched one yet. The only person that has was someone who borrowed them from me, and because I do not want to create a situation I will omit their name. So, due to the scratch the DVD player is no longer responsive so we resort to the laptop, and it works and we watch in glorious wonderment, all except Nicole who does not like this show and gets too scared, therefore I can only watch them when she is not around or there is a large majority of people forcing her to watch. As the episode concludes it is time for the real production and I am accompanied with Nicole and my sister so it defiantly was a production. I have a hard time controlling my volume, but I at least try, my sister on the other hand does not, and yet walking to coffee house someone shh'ed me from their window(this did not go over well cause I am outside and as Nicole pointed out there are no quiet hours outside) to that I respond I will not be told to shh in the outdoors and proceeded on. (looking back though it might not have been our volume as much as the topic of the conversation, which was ways I did not want to die)
I am all ready to go with my popcorn and beverage(as Katie puts it) ready to enjoy the show...to high of an expectation I find out. First off...NOT A SINGLE ASAIN. and I am like, bad move the Asians are normally the only redeeming factor of it, you cut them out and you are headed to shaky ground. The opening act is performed by "the bag ladies" what is this you ask? O well it is ladies in these sack things and they dance. Well...this thing has ALWAYS creeped me out and while they were very good at dancing it was too much to handle. I could not watch it and Katie had to hold me as I kept my eyes shut, the problem was they were dancing to catchy music so I kept wanting to look, and then did and it was a regret. I was so close to a panic attack (no lie or exaggeration) So I did not have to much hope for the rest of the show.
Now onto the "bands" that performed, there is too much to say, so I will just highlight some things that did not sit well with me. When you are in a band that is singing a almost pop song there is no reason for you to skip around and rock out like this is an epic hardcore set and your moves are needed to amp the crowd. Also if you are trying to go for that whole indie-rock scene do not hire a guitar player that makes it obvious by his stage presence has played one to many rounds of guitar hero, and just wants to rock the stage because in the end you sacrifice your image. Another band thought it would be okay to rely solely on their looks and taste in fashion as an excuse to be foolish and not really play anything worth listening to, and here is a tip from me...if you are going to want to rock out but play the keyboard invest in a keytar, you not only will hurt your back strapping a full keyboard around your neck and it is not funny you just look like you are trying to hard for the cheap laughs, I am sorry if that sounds harsh. But I make a fool of my self on a daily basis and I am not even trying, so when I see people trying so hard to be a fool it just makes me angry. Then the anger escalated as the FOOL from my church ministries class, who went on a rant about how hardcore music was the new form of worship and how this show he went to (one in which he failed to mention was ended early cause the cops were called due to unruly behavior)was where he say the most authentic form of worship ever, and everyday after that came to class early too blast on his laptop screamo music. (which I like too, but his ignorance was too much especially when he was talking about it all passionately he got the band's name wrong)he comes on stage in a velvet dress, supposedly as a World of Warcraft character, but that does not make it better. So he is up there trying to be all clever but, sorry still a Fool in my book. And the last thing is I just have a problem I guess with bands who play rock are so excited and think they are automatically the shiz that they have to prove their "awesomeness" by always being in a state of rock. I mean this band was not even introduced yet we were still in the middle of one of their games and he had to prepare his rock stance on the amp and stay there until it was time. I don;t know I just have a problem with pre-planing what you are going to do...I mean be original.
Also I learned from this that people think that just because they know and can "rap" the theme song of Fresh Prince they are thug. The opportunity presented itself and people ate it up, all moving around like they were rapping some eminem song...Out of Control! The night was semi redeemed by my brother dorm doing a Disney song medley, in which I also learned that one way to my heart is singing Disney songs to me...o how glorious. But all in all the lack of Asians, the excess of want to be edgy/indie bands just left much to be desired. But also in saying that I understand I could not have done almost 80 percent of what was done, so I will give them that, but since they can do it and I can't I want them to do a good job, and live up to their potential(hahaha just kidding on that last part).
And now I end the night with not Criminal Minds, but the Princess and the Frog, something that Nicole can handle...YEah Friday night

a picture is worth a thousand words...well I have a couple

2010-03-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

I used to do photography at the community college for about 2yrs. and I really enjoyed it and yet there was one class that I was dreading taking, portraiture. Luckily I changed my major and decided to take my talent (that's an exaggeration) elsewhere. But my friend Tori decided that she was going to continue and pursue photography and so she has been taking all the classes that I took and it has prompted many funny conversations in which we talk about all the old people who were in our classes and refused to only take pictures of nature and birds, and all loved to befriend us coincidentally. It never failed that in a class of 20+ students 13 would be in the senior citizen category, I had one who was 60 and yet had a rolly backpack red spiked hair, only wore a bright pink and purple windbreaker and worked at sea world so ALL her pictures were of...of course sea world, which would be fine if we could skip the 20min. story that went along with them. So anyway Tori finally got to where she had to take portraiture and therefore she has been "enjoying" it thoroughly.
Where do I fit into this? Well Tori took advantage of the fact that I would be in the FL this week, and considering she was home schooled and doesn't get out much(this is a running joke between us trust me she takes no offense) she has already run out of models because each week you have to have a new one. Therefore I was called into duty. Well let's just say that those who don't do teach, and I always applied that to photography life. I don't like my picture taken, that is why I took them so for me to "model" it was not that comfortable. But I took one for the team and sucked it up. The plan was that I was to meet her 5:30 and it would be done quickly. Well that changed when Tori had to share her studio time with some other women from her class. I did not think this would be a problem, but quickly became one.
I enter the studio and this women was sooo ridiculous! She had brought her like 25 year old daughter who was dressed in all black skirt ensemble and black leather boots, it was real proactive and I am like in a sweater and skinny jeans, and yet
I am the one questioning my outfit choice. And the women begins to test the lights and proves within minutes she has NO idea what is going on because every ten seconds she is summoning the help of Tori. This is infringing on my life because I am mid conversation about the shambles that have been going on and so it is hard when you are being cut off constantly. Well the poses that this women is placing her daughter are out of control, and one comment and I quote..."wow that is ALOT of leg action I got in that one, but I think I am liking it, it is good!" At this point I am questioning whether she should be allowed to have a camera, and be on her way to a degree. And they are supposed to sharing this time and yet it has been 45 min.and we have yet to do any shooting on our part, mainly because she needed Tori's "great" affirmation for every shot and lighting, but this women was so wrapped up in her work not to notice what any child could that Tori's affirming words where laden with heavy sarcasm and just wanting it to be done.Well finally she is ready to let Tori have a "go at it," but decides that she needs to help us out with posing and therefore I became her next victim...
Well yesterday I got major sunburn on my shins and getting them in the pants was a situation in itself, but then it got worse. The women decided to stay and help and told Tori that she should take advantage of my beads(um what does that mean?)Tori positioned me and the women said that she thought I should be just like...and that's when she came at em no warning and grabbed my shin and started moving it across the floor. Inside I am dying screaming out for she is holding tightly to my burned leg. She continues to add her two sense in to EVERY shot and every so often coming and "helping position me" and then all of a sudden she forgot that she wanted to use beads with her daughter so she needed the space again(keep in mind she had her daughter do poses in 3 different pairs of shoes and another outfit, and now remembered she needed beads)So we let her go again and regroup exchanging glances that mean more than words can say. The stuff that comes out of this women is beyond normal and I am just soaking it in. Finally we are done and I have to go to the bathroom and then I remember....This bathroom has caused so much fear in my life and I thought I would never have to go back but I did.
The story behind this is that I have a problem with public restrooms, ever since I watched scream 2 my life has never been the same. I have a vivid imagination and when I am in there I just see the scene play out and I run out of there so fast. When I took classes there they were always at night and the hallways were always dark because they were not in use, so it was hard enough to get into the bathroom and then once in there it was not much better. Let me describe this for you the bathroom has two doors and if you open one the other opens automatically. So it always creeped me out and then sometimes, no lie, one of the toilets will always flush on its own so I am just trying to get out. But tonight I cannot avoid it so I have to face my fear and go there. Let's just say it was not one of my shining moments, but I did business and left that place, this time hopefully for good.

ROADTRIP...

2010-03-14T08:01:00.001-07:00

So I am NEVER good at planning or packing so getting ready to go on this trip was a handful. I had to work from 4-8 at the lovely panera of bread and so our little trip would not even begin until after 8, but all was fine because my aunt offered her house to us as a semi halfway point to rest for our trip. But here is the situation...I was not smart about my engagements before my work shift and so getting out was not as smooth as I thought.
It all stems from my decision Thursday night to stay up till past 2 watching John and Kate plus Eight. Bad idea on soo many levels. One because I had just ransacked my room in efforts to pack(which did not go so well) and did not have the stamina to clean up after, in theory leaving it for the morning. Second it was 2 in the flippin morning! so I was tired and needed that rest, but O no logic leaves me and I sit through a good 3 episodes. Therefore I wake up not at 8 like I was planning, but rather by the grace of God at 9:47. If that does not strike anxiety in you it is probably because you do not realize that it is Friday therefore convo at 10 and room checks. So i pop out of bed and at this point am just trying to get dressed and my stuff for class. Well I open my clothes drawer and instantly the repercussions of packing like a child hit me...ALL my pants minus my purple ones are packed. So instead of being able to through on some pants and a shirt I am forced to make a conscience outfit because you can't just put on anything with purple pants. So i record time my getting ready and make it to convo at 9:58(no exaggeration) but I had no time to clean the room from the disaster like state it was in, so I just left an I'm sorry note with a sad face in the sink on top of my dishes.
Well after convo I have to teach a 40min bible lesson to a group of college students who have to act like 6-8year olds. And this is of course a group project and the puppeter came through with his puppets, so I was forseeing not so favorable results. Well I get to class and only 4 ppl show which makes it a little easier, but at the same time not because one of my group members is insane, and me and the other girl are constantly exchanging our nervous glances. The lesson went pretty well except I forgot to put one phrase in the verse scramble and that created unneeded "chaos," but all was ok because we were told to end early therefore...sad day we had to cut the puppets!
Well at this point I have an excess of meal points and scholarship dollars so it was time to raid the keyhole with AMy for snacks and energy drinks, and so we begin to truck to the circle( a place I avoid like the plague)but we loose drive and take a bus there and back, but not before we were judged by everyone there for the amount of junk we bought.
Now at this point in the day it is raining and I have to pack my car, have accountability, go get a money order, and turn in my apartment application, all in an hour and a half. Sounds impossible... not for me! So I use my strength and carry half my crap to my car in the pit(in the rain with my laptop...bad idea) and then drive it up to the hill to load the rest, but not until my ID case wallet breaks and i almost leave my phone charger. I decide to test the towing policy and park at demoss, and i won that day because I was NOT towed, but I am not going to tempt fate again. Then I begin to pick up the pace, I run into walmart get this money order thing and speed off to wyndhurst. All goes well and I make it to work on time, and I got gas!!!So even though the day started crazy I finally got my life together. 8 runs around and it is time we are off! I thought I had directions on lock down, turns out they were backwards, so Chelsea became navigational interpreter of the car, but because we also had Amy in the car she also assumed the role of "enforcer" (don't worry she is getting a badge) and she issued warnings to Amy for her behavior(too many and she would be kicked out of the car). Well we are putt puttering around, making good time, even though it is rainy and we really had to watch out for hydroplaning which almost happened 5 times!, and the energy drinks begin to be consumed...Let's just say me and Amy should not be on them at the same time, from them on it was a little dicey.We stop at a gas station and want to give katie a preview of what was going on in our car (see you again by Miley and party in the USA) so we pump it up get out and start dancing in the gas station, well she was not watching, and so we thought it was all a waste until I look a little farther down the parking lot to see, a truck driver just sitting in his truck staring, we stop dancing he drives off, I loose it...it was out of control then other results, me screaming songs at the top of my lungs(now I am enjoying those benefits of a hindered voice now)and dancing, and Amy randomly doing the Chiodos cheetah scream in my ear and count it, 4 times biting me...it was out of control. Chelsea of course was eating it up and even caught some on film, something I will regret consenting to later on. Well the chemicals that were coursing through my veigns subsided and me and Chel had some good real talk, followed by a session with the amazing Damien Rice at 2 in the morning, that def. took a toll on our emotions...
Well as all was going as good as 3 insane people in a car for 6 hrs could be, my sister on the other hand was not having as easy of a time( I will not go there because its her life not mine) so she makes the call that we need to put a sub in...this posses a problem.
Me being excellent at problem solving decide that Amy can drive Gilbert(my jeep) cause she had when I was sick, and I would drive the brave little toaster(katie's)So kaite is just done with driving and jets off at the next exit, not even looking to see if there is anything there, turns out there is not, so she just drives 3miles down a dark road pulls off by woods and parks her car(solid safe thinking right...not for someone who watches too much TV) so i jump out of my car and try to make this a quick switch, but I needed a snack, so I did hold us up a little. We make the switch and we are off again. In saying this it will no longer be a secret, but I secretly love driving her car, so it was a good break, except the CDS were by the passenger side door and the passenger was asleep so playing DJ was a little challenging but I feel like I rose to the challenge. We make it to the exit for my Aunts and victory over this trip is in sight except I have to follow, for Chelsea who is in the other car has the directions. She has not steered us wrong yet so I am trusting her, that is until we pull onto a dirt road. We are in Georgia I have not seen a house or subdivision the whole way and now we are on a dirt road...well this is the time that the passenger in my car wakes up, o yeah how awkward is that I don't know her that well she passed out asleep wakes up and I am driving her on a dark dirt road in what appears to be the middle of now where. So I begin to internally question their skills, and the jeep is doing great on the dirt but the scion is leaving much to be desired, so after we drive for what seems like forever I see houses but then they start reversing out of no where and I cannot hold my tongue, so I scream at them(like they can hear me ) poor Gabbi(the passenger) is just listening to me, but we get there, and with a bed in sight all hostility dies down.
O but going to bed would just be too easy, and me and AMy are sharing a bed and she decides that trying out my aunts lotion would be a great idea, well it is NOT because for some reason bath and body works made a lotion that smells like brisk ice tea(what were they thinking) and so Amy now smells like brisk and I have to sleep with this. 4 hours later and we are back on the road. The dirt road is SO less creepy in the day light, but I loose Chelsea as a passenger at the first gas station because once again Katie cant handle her life, so I am left with no enforcer and it is just me and Amy. But minus the fact that I held my bathroom break from Jacksonville to Titusville 3hrs, and so I am in need of the facilities. And I ate half a piece of chocolate and set it down, well sure enough the sun melted it, so amy had to use her hands as a napkin, and I am stuck licking my Ipod. Not a good situation, but she was secure I located a bathroom and we finally reached our destination of my lovely household!

Im going to need a moment....

2010-03-09T22:15:00.002-08:00

So as stated and semi promised from the earlier post more drama did find me, and it was glorious...it is not as much as the morning/afternoon, but the content is right up my ally for blog worthy.
I am in a sign language class, and I love it. I am actually pretty good at it, and I just have always been fascinated by it. Now in learning sign language you also learn like the correct connotations to use a sign and what its implications are. Well that is something that tonight I realized I need to pay more attention to.
We all had to sign a song in front of the class for a grade, now I was sick last week, so me and my partner had to go this week. We had only practiced together once, but both separately had been working on it hoping that when it came together it would produce something that resembled a duet. So we decide that we will meet up before class to just hammer out any final things and make sure it flows well.A quick precursor to the song performance, I had to sign a story last semester and I was not nervous at all until I walked in the room and then I was literally crippled with fear, so since I was so calm and confident about this song I was hoping the same thing did not happen and I would be left in front of the class as a statue instead of an interpreter.I also have this problem when I mess up I call myself out, like 99 percent of the time it probably goes unnoticed until I feel the intense need to call myself out. And that happened with the story, I did not know the sign and I made one up, I do not think she even batted an eye and yet in the middle of my story I say..."well that definatly was the wrong sign I don't even know what I did." See what I am saying unnecessary...yet it happens all the time in general conversations too, I will say something stupid and before anyone responds I will repeat what I said and then say what am I talking about that is so stupid...
So for the song I am praying against this urge but as we are practicing I mess up and just say SHAMBLES and start laughing...my partner is just like um you can't just do that, I am like ahhh...right. So I see that we still need practice so we just keep going over it and over it. It is all going good and I am thinking that it looks good, and we are about to stop when I notice that she is doing a different sign for "need." So I ask her about it and she is just like yeah I am doing need as in must have etc. So then I think back on what sign I am using (keep in mind for 2 weeks and these like past 5 times I have been signing this) and I realize that I have been using the sign for desire/want. I don't really think too much of it and so I am like ah let's just do it again. We get halfway through (this sign is used repeatedly) and then I am like you are going to need to pause this I need a moment the reality of what I have been signing/saying has just hit me. She pauses it and I loose it laughing...the word I had been using was like an intentional(if done a certain way/the way I was, but not on purpose)sexual desire....
yeah so this WHOLE time I was saying that I was in that sense desiring God that way...I am pretty sure that is soo not sound doctrinally or theologically and might even cross many more lines. So after a good laugh and evaluation, I decide it is best that I go with the way my partner is signing it. Obviously I need more practice now to make sure that does not slip out in front of an actual understanding audience, but I am reminded that it just might because I had been doing it that way for so long.
Well ladies and gentleman it did happen I got caught up and it just slipped out, so now not only do inappropriate things slip out of my mouth, now my signs are being affected. So it comes out and I just look at the girl who was there for the practice and we share a glance and I just push through the rest of the song.
YEah it was a great performance other than that Becca(my partner was shining strong comparatively ) so I guess it came out alright in the end...I just hope my teacher did not catch it, we might have a discussion about it later...but for now I am just glad I did not rat myself out lol.

Turabian nights lead to interesting days...

2010-03-09T22:15:00.001-08:00

So normally I try and narrow my blog down to one concise theme or occurrence but this I cannot for too much is needed to be said. It is only Tuesday and yet I feel like I have enough material for 3 blogs, so I will just condense them all into this one and hopefully something coherent will come out of it...
So we will start with last night. So I thought that my paper was done, so i trot back to the hill at 8:30 and just chill till LPG, I had set up with Jess to have "turabian nights" with her after so it was all good, paper in my mind accomplished. (Turabian nights for all those who are wondering is just me singing the Arabian nights song a million times obnoxiously trying to sound like that Arabian guy, replacing "Arabian" with "turabian" and adding Jess's name in there a couple of times, and she is just helping me format my paper. So it's really nothing speacial)So we are sitting there finally getting down to buisness(that took a while)and she makes a realization that changes my LIFE! My paper is not 10 pages(meeting the requirement) it is only 9, and by 9 I mean barely 9. So inside I begin to crumble and then I almost lose composure all together, until Jess grasps me by the shoulders and tells me how to live. So now at 11:45 I am taking myself down to the Clab to finish this paper that I thought was done. I am NOT a happy camper, and so when I get there I just am trying to find any available computer, but they all are taken up by people who are doing utter nonsense. And here is where the majority of this whole story lies...Now that I am a constant partaker of the Clab and all its glory I have noticed some things that need to be addressed.
Why are people there that are not doing homework/assignments that require you to stay up till 2? This is not a one time thing that I noticed, every time I have gone there, the computers are filled with people NOT doing worthwhile things (and yes I am allowed to be the judge of that I waist enough time to know what wasting time looks like) Things like watching big brother, that can happen in your dorm, I mean you are not talking to anyone so it is not like you are going there for a social reason, SO WHY ARE YOU TAKING A COMPUTER I NEED! I mean I would love to use the excuse with my college professor.."sorry my assignment is not done I could not use the computer because someone desperately needed to watch their reality TV at 1 AM, and I just could not finish my HUGE paper" or this one...painting your nails....um why are you sitting at a computer and painting your nails at 1:45AM? Nothing within me understands this,you have a room, and no assignment is tying you to the COMPUTER so why.O another people who get a computer sign on and then take a nap....WHAT?! So sufficed to say I am just wondering if the majority of LU campus even knows what the CLAB stands for, let me inform you...COMPUTER LAB, and in that title you should understand necessary behavior that should happen there. So after I sequester a computer 3HRS later my little diddy on Justification is finished, and printed so at least I did not really have to use the "big brother" excuse even though it is legitimate.
So I wake up for my 7 40 after that lovely escaped at the CLAB and I am NOT prepared for the day. I have taken out a mini vendetta against showering when the cleaning staff is here (it is just too much, i always somehow am in the way of their cleaning and told to leave, but it is awkward cause I am trying to take a shower) so that issue should have been addressed yesterday and I did not have proper amount of time to take care of it before class, so now I am regretting the vendetta, but still have to live with the consequences. I make it through class through my women's bible study (beth moore was telling me how to break free and I appreciated it) so I go to meet up with my group for Childrens Min. In which we have to give a 40min. lesson, and while I was sick someone in the group decided puppets would be a novel idea, to that I say o no!(now I was on a puppet team for a good 3yrs but I do not condone that for this lesson) and so this issue was going to be addressed, but thankfully the "puppeteer" did not show so I took creative authority and cut his act, harsh but o so necessary. Now as we are going through the lesson I am just getting angry because the curriculum is CRAP, there is no other term, and this makes me very upset, on one level because my teacher recommended it. I will have to have a separate blog about these Childrens Min presentations because if you know me and my passion for this ministry a lot needs to be said about what is going on in this class. So now due to the curriculum not providing I have to write a whole story and lesson, which I was not ready to do. By this time my head is spinning (partially due to the antibiotics there is a warning about that) and partially because now I have even more to do before I go home for Spring Break, which at this point I have no idea when that even is because the time is just in a constant change.
After this meeting I meet up with my sister(basically she found out where I was and stalked me) but I am so thankful she showed up because it was about 25min. before I had an accountability with a PL, and if she had not been there for me to vent to for those 25 min that poor PL would have been hit with a whole lot of my life because I have a problem of just vomiting my life on innocent people when I am overwhelmed and generally they are not prepared to handle it. But my sister is a seasoned veteran in handling my chaos, and so she just took it and after that I was fine. It is also a good thing that she was there because I would have not been able to handle what happened in accountability as well as i did, had I not released some (by some I mean I basically mean a whole buffet) of my frustrations.
Here is what went down...I am in accountability and we are talking, it is going good and then this guy with a microphone and a camera man walk into Jazzmans. Now I already in my mind am foreseeing trouble but because we were in the middle of a conversation that looked real official I was hoping the trouble would not be with us...how wrong I was. So man with the mic walks past me and is like "O this girl is avoiding eye contact(meaning me cause I was cause he was foolish, and I was kinda looking at the person I was WITH) I am going to talk to her." Um excuse me what part of that sounds like a good idea? So he asks me with his mic and the camera man standing there, "what is your favorite Disney character?" Now normally I would be excited about this question, but I just do not like this kid so the fact that he is talking about Disney bothers me, so we are just like what is this for? and he is like "o its online I'm going to give you a card(checks pockets)o nvm I dont have one but he does" and I am like "no card no answer" so the camera man slaps some piece of paper down then tells me just to look them up on FB, and takes it back. So I answer Ariel, apparently that is not good enough so he asks me why I explain more he responds with a why again (real sound interviewing I might add). and so this exchange of an answer and him responding with why goes on for like 5 questions, and then he has the gall to say that he thinks I was just making it up...well let me say this if I was making it up you wouldn't know anyway! Just because you have a microphone doesn't mean you can act like you know my life! And Just because you are being filmed doesn't mean it is appropriate to were sunglasses inside, who are you cyclops from x-men... I highly doubt that and one last thing, just because you are wearing a blazer doesn't make you official. So after he is done questioning me he moves on and creates more drama in the Jazzmans. He like told some girl he hated her headband and then polled the room about who liked it. He honestly was a jerk, I think he was trying to be like witty reporter/interviewer, but it just came off as JERK! and he was with option LU and after my encounter with them I just have to ask is jerk one of the options because I was not aware that was a "perk" at LU. And I am left wondering after this do I just attract this random collides with utter insanity or is it just a regular occurrence with everyone and I am just looking at it wrong.
So after my wonderful CLAB experience and lack of shower, shambled Chilrens ministry meeting, and my life being challenged by option LU, one would think my day would be over, but this is my life and it is only 1pm so there is much more to ensue....just wait and see.

And so we meet again...

2010-03-05T19:23:00.000-08:00

SO today I began the embarking of a journey that I all to quickly realize was not equipped for. But I mean who was I kidding though I, I work constantly out of the consequences of procrastination all the while telling myself that this is how I work best. Well I am starting to think I am lying because the products of these rampant work binges are not conducive to my social life, appearance, or desire to appear as a controlled individual. Rather I come off the opposite leaving people with the same thoughts of "who is that girl, and why can she not handle life?" Well all of that was a precursor to what unfolded today.
I set out that today would be the day that I began, and hopefully worked on some of my Justification paper.(Now to all of you who are wondering why...why are you a Childrens ministry major taking classes such as Bible 350 and Romans and Theo 350 and such, I respond with, It is because apparently children need to know sound doctrine too, I know crazy thought...but I am enjoying this class it's just the projects and my procrastination/level of handling stress do not mix so well) SO I have to write this paper all in this weekend(entirely my fault I understand, but I am not looking for sympathy,enough aspects of my life already receive that so I generally do not campaign for it)so I set out...sounds easy enough though I mean we are talking about me here, who spent basically my entire life justifying whatever I did cause No one tells me how to live, but this Justification is definitely different therefore I am working at an already set disadvantage.
Now as I am approaching the Library I realize,not even being dramatic here, I have only been in this place 4 times, and each time I feel even more out of place. But I am clinging to the fact that I basically know what I am doing, but that hope leaves me the second I walk through the doors. So my goal was to just get some of the books and do the research, copy some pages, and get a general idea of what I would be writing the next day. So obviously I have nothing with me but my notes and notebook so it strikes me I need a table, like a work station(child mentality). So I walk to the back and I should have known better because I was about to enter a place that I am pretty sure was designed with me not in mind. And that is ladies and gentlemen the Library quiet zone. It was like it had a force field or something because the key chain on my backpack that was making a noise (which annoys me too but I still forget and am too lazy to take off) was not bothering anyone, but I enter in this "zone" and within seconds receive the scariest glances from multiple girls whose work was apparently being hindered due to my little jangling noise. So I quickly find a spot and regroup. But my regrouping only consisted of me going to the bathroom, and once returning I try to look up the books on the list but FAIL. Then I make the decision it is better to look like a helpless newb and ask the people for help, than to try myself and waste time. So I ask and apparently my question was valid and not childlike so with some of my confidence back I go to get the books on reserve(the whole time trying to act like I knew what i was doing but had no idea, it did not last long though because I hit my low point when I just asked her to give me whatever she thought looked good, I mean that doesn't even make sense, but of course it did to me at the time) and so kind women says "alright I just need your ID"...right my Id CRAP! Thinking that I just left it in the back I walk all the way back there and its not there, and so after I have a conversation with myself of where else it would be I realize I left it at the front where I just was. GREAT, so back to the front I get the books and now at least I have material to work with.But as i sit down I realize that I still have NO clue what I even need to be doing, and so inside I being to become all too overwhelmed so I shoot off a text to my spiritual and emotional accounter,(the Jessica Bates...for more on her see blog about LUPD)she will call me later and I at this point am so ever being quite and talk to her anyway avoiding all looks,and yet I am determined to use this time and not waste it. So I just start reading and I honestly am understanding the whole thing better but I have NOTHING to start writing. And every time I think I do the anxiety floods in and I am freaking out about citations and commentary and trying to sound theological, and so the pen never meets the paper,which when a 10 page plus paper is required that kinda thing needs to be happening.
Then I lift it up to the Lord and wisdom hits me. This class is on Romans...do I even know what Romans says about Justification? So I look through it and guess what it all starts to come together. Funny how that works out. So this project is starting to look a little less daunting,but it is still to be done. so I am bracing myself for the impact of when the true weight of this hits me(which will probably be Sunday/Monday cause it's due Tuesday)but until then I call today's little run in with the library visit a success. I caused strife in the quiet zone, I had the library workers do something besides shelve books, someone had to give me a pep-talk, and it brought my visit count up to a solid 5. O and I got FREE copies!!!!yeah finally the people I know have power that I can use!win... or so I think...well see the weekend will be the true test of progress and productivity, so lets keep our fingers crossed and our prayers interceding cause Lord knows anytime I have a project my appearance management goes downhill...and it is not pretty.

oh that's the basement...THE BASEMENT!

2010-02-22T20:51:00.000-08:00

So I always knew that what I watched impacted me but for some reason reality likes to keep throwing this in my face showing me that I cannot not be affected by my entertainment choices. I love scary movies, but I have the imagination of a 8 year old therefore the movie never really ends for me, it just keeps going in my mind and gives me rushes of panic. Well lately i have been on a criminal minds BINGE! I love that show(especially Reed and his little satchel) I used to like CSI Las Vegas cause let's face it the rest are baby kisser compared to that(if you do not know what baby kisser is then we have not spent enough time together), but after a while CSI no longer produced the gripping elements I needed in an hour sitcom, and some man who actually worked as a Crime Scene analyst ruined the show for me and I am all about accuracy so I could not view it the same anymore. So you could say Criminal minds became my new CSI. Now for all of you newbs Criminal Minds almost always contains a sadistic serial killer, therefore the plot is intense and crucial. And until today I felt confident to avoid any attack coming from a serial killer of that degree, but it all came crashing down on me.
We went to go look at some townhomes but the Realtor(John) did not show due to a situation with his dog, and in the trauma he was facing because of his animal he finally gave us the truth that we most likely would not be able to live there. Great news to get after you reschedule ALL your meetings and almost die coming down the hill which is now all MUD! So we take the initiative to not go back without seeing some type of townhome, so we drive to another location that is head up by a guy named Bruce.
We park in front of the one that has the for rent sign and call the number, a women answers and tells us that we can just go in it is unlocked...problem why are people just leaving things unlocked? But it is not this one that is unlocked we come to find out as I try to force myself in, but another so we drive there. The door is unlocked as stated and it just seems a little sketch, but we did not come all this way for nothing. We go in and Abby is just calmly looking around, but my mind which is now ruined by way too many shows and movies based off of crime, serial killers, and murder, cannot stop wandering so I am moving swiftly trying to see it all quickly and get out of there. So I make it to the kitchen and it is nice and I notice there is a room behind the kitchen I walk into it, and see another doorway. I inch closer and at first I am excited, like Abby look it has a basement...then reality hits me and this once cool thing now is staring me in the face and its all cement walls and stairs and lack of lighting is no longer creating happy emotions. I try to tough it out and inch closer9 I have no idea why I NEVER handled basements well even as a child ask anyone)...so bad idea because now I am In my own criminal minds episode and so I start to run, and as Abby put it in a flight or fight instance I FLIGHT! the only thing that stops me is the wall in the living room and Abby's arm, which I am now clinging to. But i realize that I am being ridiculous and I need to calm down so I suggest going upstairs. So we start to walk over to them and the alarm starts to beep again and I freeze then without skipping a beat my hand becomes a gun and I climb the stairs sniper style with my back constantly on the wall(proving that suspense movies have not added to my "rational" mind in a good way either) I kick the doors open because for some reason I felt I needed to and I went around making sure they were clear and then informing Abby. Some might ask why I did this? and I respond I have no idea! I am just all sorts of ridiculous. So then we get back in the car and call the women back and find out that this is the only one that has a basement, so we do not need to even think/worry about that...great I am glad about that! So yeah overall this just proves that I should not be left alone for too long cause who knows what would have happened if Abby was not there, I probably should not have watched that much crime TV, and I still need supervision. So to all those in the Lynchburg area who are not wanting to rent me an apartment because I want three other roommates it is not because I want to start a brothel(which by definition is 5 or more women living together, or the Timberridge appts. which I think has that going on as a side business)and it is not because I am a lesbian, it is purely because I cannot handle life alone, I might die(a bit dramatic but what part of my life isn't) so yeah...basements equals the opening of a can of worms that no one is prepared to deal with!

panic turns to manic and hysteria doesn't look good on anyone!

2010-01-31T18:42:00.000-08:00

I would like to start off by saying a very sarcastic thank you to LUPD, after tonight I feel very safe in their "capable" hands....(as a disclaimer I really do appreciate them and this is just me being dramatic). So i am from Florida and this whole black ice nonsense is not in my driving skills, so whenever it presents itself utter chaos follows. Last year this very same thing happened and it ended with me calling someone to drive my car as I sat in the parking lot crying talking to Amy waiting for them to come, once they arrived I curled up on the fetal position in the front seat as they drifted my car to a parking spot. After I exited I slid all the way down the parking lot and the only thing that stopped be was a car, I hit it full on. Sufficed to say it was not one of my shining moments.
Now the shambles that unfolded follow the same line but guess what there are a few new plot twists to keep everyone hooked. So After 20min and help from the brother dorm SLD's and the rest of our big four my car is out of the commuter lot and on its way to my glorious workplace(see my blog "I'll have the bread chips" for my real emotions towards it). I manage to make it all the way there no problems until I hit the parking lot and have a mini scare, but I regain control. Well the work day passes and I get a shot of confidence that I can bring this sucker home, especially since the road ways were clear and I was doing great. Well I pull on campus and the drama begins. I call up Jess Bates( RA and emotional encourager)and ask her if LUPD has sent out an email about parking. You see I was trying to be smart because last year after the mess I got back to the dorm only to find out that an email was sent saying not to move the cars. So I try and check up on this (like beyonce) and it is a failure because no email was sent, and Jess had called the LUPD and was told (supposedly) to move the cars over there. Panic erupts inside my once confident heart as a flash back of last year came back into sight. So I hang up with Jess and proceed down to the depths of what will proceed to become my yearly ice break down! So i turn into the parking lot of David's place(apparently his place is Hades) and there are no spots...like great idea LUPD send people down here when it HASN'T been plowed, lord. And so I call Jess again and ask for their number thinking that they will help. O if I had only known that Steven was apparently menstruating. I call them up and I am going to display the phone call as if it was a 9-11 emergency...
LUPD:"LUPD this is Steven'
ME: "um yeah I tried to move my car down to David's place but it is really icy and i am drifting and I am afriad I am going to hit a car, so I have stopped moving..."
LUPD: "Well is it blocking traffic?"
Me: " No but I am like right in the middle of the parking lot, so I am kinda blocking that, and I cannot move it or I will hit something..."
LUPD: "so you are not in traffic?"
Me: "No, but I am in the way"
LUPD: "well listen ma'am we do not want you to get hurt or to hurt anyone, and we are trying to reduce property damage so if you are not blocking traffic you need to just leave your car there"(said in a tone!)
Me: "I cannot leave my car here someone is going to hit me I am out in the open"
LUPD: "you are out in the open?"
Me:"yes"
LUPD: "then no one will hit you...
UM EXCUSE ME WHEN DID THIS EVER SOUND LIKE A GREAT IDEA when cars are drifting of course someone is going to hit me I am right THERE! and listen if you wanted to reduce property damage then you should not be instructing people to move their cars into this ice trap.Chew on that Steven.I mean how is this even helpful, he was no were near to assess where I was, and never offered to do anything constructive about it.So I begin to cry as I call Jess again an reiterate the whole convo while yelling(it is an art and I def. have the lung capacity for it). So then she is like what do you want me to do do you want me to call someone and I am like, listen do whatever you need to to get me out of here. So i hang up and wait like 2 minutes and can't stand being in this "open space" so I try to move again this time it goes well, but just as I feel stupid for all my phone calls and hysterics, Tokyo drift happens again and I am now in a position where it "all being down hill from here" is NOT a good thing. So I call Jess again bringing the count up to 4(now I know why RA's sometimes do not give their numbers out) and she it like we are coming, well I am impatient and try and drive again and think its going good so I call her for the fifth time to tell her the good news, when she says just do not hit on the breaks...well not only can she spot people out of the liberty way, she also is telepathic cause right as she said that I did it and then I had to slam her into park cause I lost ALL control. Well she at this point knew the necessity of getting down there to help me and was off. So I was saved by the same SLD's and the big four, but we still could not get Gilbert(my car's name) into a spot. So he is sitting perpendicular in three spots on the brink of being in a snow bank. My 'lanta! And then just like last year I get back and I am informed that it was only "if you could move your car" that you should put it in David's place. So I guess this ice drifting is becoming a yearly ritual, so there is next year to look forward too. NOT!and that is all I have to say, except it is probably best for both me and Steven is we never meet!

things forgotten on purpose

2010-01-28T14:38:00.000-08:00

So I have not posted a blog in a while and I feel like this is a disservice to the world. But then i look at my followers and see that there are only three(one being my mother) and I realize I posting might just be the disservice. But the man can't keep me down so I will post this with confidence, even though my following is severely limited. Not much has been going on in my life...ha if only that was true. SO much has been going on, but due to the plethora of situations and changes it is hard to just capture it all. So i have chosen to write about something that has nothing to do with the situations that I have been facing(o yeah I avoid reality). So on my way back here from the FL I compiled a list of places that if I never visited again I would be ok. Now the list could go on forever cause let's face it not every place needs a return visit, but I had to have a cut off point so I am giving you the top 10. So here is the list and little explinations of the places I wish I could forget:
1. KFC Buffet- this was just a bad experience in itself all I wanted was chicken fingers and mac-and-cheese, but somehow I got caught up in this buffet idea and it was not a smart move. That night I ate around five cinnamon biscuit i don't even know whats and ticked off a group of old people because I was talking about lesbians.
2. Roller rink in Titusville-now granted this is not there anymore and the building just serves the purpose of a place to conduct indoor drug deals, but if it was still there I would not be participating in it.
3. Titusville High School- in putting a high school on the list I think that many people would be like o well duh, but for me this is not one of those I hated my high school and I regret etc etc for me it is just the people there are so dumb and whenever I was there I felt like my brain was on the decline. I had to take health my senior year with a bunch of freshman, and let me tell you all stereotypes applied to the class and the students!
4. Dinosaur museum- this one is not because it is boring but more along the lines of it is scary. One of my top fears is dinosaur skeletons and like the recreations of them (yep I am a real catch lol). But yeah I have cried and clung to my mother and had to leave multiple places that had dinosaur parts to them. I will just rush everyone out of the room, so that I have a shred of decency left. O and Night at the museum...that would be one of the worst things to happen to me.
5.Ohio- yeah been there done that totally sums this one up!(parts of it are nice but I have to give it the decline stamp)
6. Bathroom at rain forest cafe- let me set the scene...18 year old easter lunch goes to the bathroom will not let anyone leave her in the bathroom, cried on the way in,thought they left her screamed for them(while in the bathroom), ran through the restaurant the moment she was done.This will NEVER happen again and by this I mean using the restroom there. It is too much another fear of mine is like realistic animal eyes like paintings of tigers and what not. So yeah from then on I held it.
7. Bowling-now I will still go bowling but I try to forget the pains of my past. When we went in 6th grade everyone scored really high but me and so I was not going to share my score but everyone walked past and saw it so I was not at a good place. Then I returned to the sport and would go extreme bowling...the only thing extreme was how bad I was one time I scored a 19. yeah, enough said
8. North Carolina- Now this one is different than ohio,I was not a fan of Ohio due to the experiences that came with it. North Carolina is just a butt. It used to be South Carolina but I guess they got their lives together. Now N.C. causes me trouble. It took 2hrs to go 15 miles one time, another time they cause severe anxiety due to their "secret police," also they do not know how to drive, and it is just not fun times when we hit that state.
9. The Lucky U spot- that is right and no I did not change the name. This fine establishment is one of the sketchiest(still running) places I have been. I went in for coffee and was taken aback and having Katie there was like um..the worst idea ever. We walk in and both of us not knowing how to handle it, cause obviously we did not want to be there, Katie just walks into the middle of this room and stands there. All the workers who are super sketch are looking at us like we are the ones who are strung out, and there is like animal planet on and some guy is eating biscuits and gravy. I mean weirdest thing on earth. Let me tell you I did not feel the luck. sufficed to say we left that place and I will never use Katie as an awkward buffer lesson learned.
10. PANERA- just kidding I want to remember all that est. has "taught" me so that when I have children I can ramble on about my part time job, and maybe make it some life lesson...ha, I feel like that will be my right as a parent.

and then the water turned into the bestest beers and wine

2010-01-06T20:50:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was asked to teach the chapel service for the 1st-6th graders at church. Well when I was asked I was kinda caught off guard and then just said ok,but later the weight of that decision and what it would entail hit me. I have never really been a part of the chapel, in the 7yrs that I have been a part of the childrens ministry and I have never gone to a wednesday night service in the kids church. So I had no idea what I would be getting into. Well add on top of that the fact that I have not worked with that age group for a year and have not really taught that kind of way in two years, so I was not feeling it. But along with being good with children my Children's pastor is awesome at guilt tripping/sweet talking I was persuaded,and so the night began.
Now I am not an expert at Childrens Ministry and I am not trying to say that I know it all(trust me if you know me you not only know this but you have experienced it first hand)but I have worked with children for 7plus years now and I have noticed and learned some group dynamics and what not. And for all you lovelies who like to read my melodrama enjoy the tips I have to offer, and the joy I experienced tonight.
First off, my church has decided that chairs hinder the kids or some junk like that(I just think they were getting tired of setting them up) and so ALL of the seats are gone so the kids just roam free(problem numero uno) SO what seems fine is not when during worship these little ones decide they are half emergent and find God by wandering around the room. Sorry that does not work for me, if I can barely find the focus to worship while properly secured in row seats(we all know that is why they are in rows it is to control us)there is no way that kids who are on a diet of sugar and refined sugar are going to be able to worship unless they are sequestered. Now when I speak to kids whether it is telling just a simple bible story or lesson, or what not I have to do some ground work of rules first. And the other adults in there sometimes cannot handle them, but in the end they are asking me the questions, so my system is flawless(in theory). There is always one precious that likes to challenge my system, but unlike others they cannot break me. Tonight's precious i now deem carpet boy. And he was no match for me. He started by always being the one who could not comprehend or apply the no talking unless your hand is up so I had to deal with that but he was not too bad. I was nervous about not having enough to say but then my little precious from my old pre-school class walked in and I knew I was solid. He always liked to ask questions and for the most part had the right answers, the only problem is these came with a price...a 5 min story that went with it. But tonight that was going to work in my favor, so I focused on these two kids to enhance my message(great life choice). I had to tell carpet boy to stop peeling up the carpet(hence his name) and he seemed to listen so I thought that situation was over but 10 more minutes in and the same issue arrived. Here is where most teachers fail, when they are telling a story or a lesson a kid acts up and they either do not deal with it and just pretend to ignore it until they are done, or they stop their story and address it but then it gets them all off track so then the kid wins because the teacher then begins to ignore them so they can stay focused. And this is why I excel I do not let these newbs get to me they are precious and do not act up until you are mid lesson, thinking that you will not do anything. Well I do not opperate that way and I call them out right there. But I keep a mental note of my place in the lesson. I do not let their hyperactivity throw off my groove. i cut them at the source and they stop. It is what I call "shutting them down" you do not let them ramble on about nonsense you just shut 'em down. Trust me it works. You just have to not care what they "think about you"(which does not matter anyway cause unless you are abusing them all you have to do is give out some candy at the end and you are back on their friend list. Not everyone agrees with this but it has not failed me yet so until it does I will keep using it. So carpet boy strikes again with the carpet and I remind him about what I said and he said but it is bugging me, to that I said well now you are bugging me and the others so put it down and move over there. He did and guess what the rest of the time he was amazing, and he knew the lesson points and could say them back. And the other little precious can turn anything into a story so when I needed to regroup I let his thoughts run free.
Now the whole point of this is I love working with kids cause as we all know they say the funniest stuff.And it brings me such joy. Tonight the best thing was carpet boys description of some of Jesus' miracles. I was only going to let him say one, but he expressed to me that he was not sure if both were real and he wanted to say both just in case. Well who can deny that so I let him have at it. here is how he explained them
Number 1: one time there was this women I cannot remember her name, but she like was touched by Jesus and like she was bleeding forever but then she went up to Jesus and there was no more blood and she was better(that was almost correct and considering he was 8 I was proud of that answer)
Number 2: back in Jesus' day they had those big jar things (um ok) and like Jesus told people to fill it up with a lot of water and wait a day, and then the next day they came back and it was filled with the bestest most great beers and wine(um sure...this one I had to do a little ground work but for the most part it was ok)
but I just could not get over him he was too cute, rowdy but cute. when I was done the other workers in there were all like good job, you had to deal with a tough crowd tonight...um if that was a tough crowd I feel like they should be way past bible lessons and be teaching these kids like the doctrine of creation. I mean out of 25ish kids 3 acted up and it was over carpet and not sitting on their bottoms, I just think they are letting these kids play them way too much. Kids are sneaky and you just have to rule with no nonsense, but hey if that was a tough crowd I need to come back when it is a good one because we might be able to have a revolution.

scariest night of my life

2010-01-05T09:25:00.000-08:00

I have learned that in Titusville I cannot win. It is like there is nothing I can do to change this, and so now I am forced to just expect and accept that where ever I go mass havoc will break out. Me and my good friend and fashion adviser always have a tradition that when I am back we watch scary movies and eat nasty amounts of taco bell and other such nonsense. Well this plan has worked, but the last two times the results have not been pretty. well go back in time to reflect on a past experience with this an then sum it up with the difficulty that was found this time.
I miss out on so much culture being in the "Liberty bubble" (I hate that phrase) but in truth I do. There is no cable so I do not watch TV (because my "Acer" does not liek to participate in the whole TV on the computer thing) so I do not see commercials or movie previews...OR ANYTHING. Also while I am in the VA the only stores I find myself in are bookstores, food stores and wait for it...WALMART. And these things are not too conducive for one to have a thriving lifestyle. So there are all these movies I want to see when I go home and that is what I do. The only problem is that we want to watch scary movies with tori and so I have no idea what any good ones are (and I am finding out slowly that there really are not any anyway) so the search is hard to begin with. So we go to Blockbuster and are searching and nothing is showing up so we go to the not new movie section(bad idea) and we try to find something. Well we finally decide on two movies, one was like a documentary kinda thing on a serial killer, sounds cool right? NO we did not do proper research on what this serial killer did and the display of it was not pleasant, the other movie was now a remake, problem being we did not get the remake and anyone who has watched a movie from the 70's knows how this one provided a problem. So this was not a solid run. sufficed to say we vowed the next time to be better.
The next time:
I went to Blockbuster the one closer to my house and spotted some potentials but did not remember the names just where they were and the display, and what not. So I convinced Tori that going to that blockbuster would have better results(we all know where this build up is headed). We go there and guess what the people at bolockbuster decided to actually work for their money so they were in the process of cleaning all the displays...the cracks in my plan begin to develop into gorges. So now we have to once again look around to find movies. Well this time we actually have some luck because we get the darko series which look promising and these other ones that look creepy enough. (It is now that the gorges crumble). Tori forgot her card, which is never a problem at her blockbuster because they all do not care and let her do what she wants. But this one had a problem, but tried to be helpful. So they were just going to use her ID problem is they cannot find her account anywhere and so He's all trying to use his blockbuster name badge as means of authority to tell us how to live. So I was just going to use my parents account but they had a movie out(it was actually me hehehe) and so I cannot check one out when one is late. So I am just like I am going to open my own Blockbuster account. And that is when "andre" decides he can take advantage of this situation, but not as easily as he would have hoped because this quick trip is pushing close to an hour now. So I go to fill out this little application and the jokes on Blockbuster cause I ask for the maximum amount of cards 3 just to tick him off. So I turn in my application and now Andre turns into the precious little salesman as he is and begins to try and market to me...I have reached my breaking point. I just want out of this blockbuster. Well he is trying to sell me this rewards card(great in theory but I live in reality and unless I am in T-Ville I do not rent movies, and even when I do someone else pays) and I am like um I think I am just going to wait and then he has to bring in the visual to show me all my reward options. Well im sorry andre but I am pretty sure I can understand what rent on get one free entails, but he is not letting up for anything. Then he brings in the mental math(basically him throwing out random prices to show how I can save money)My mind is going in circles and I am tired and hungry and I just cannot help but laughing and smiling so this must look ridiculous, but on the inside I am really peeved. So then he tells me that it will only be 11 dollars to rent the movies and add the rewards program on, so I am like fine do it whatever. And so he is like do it, and I am like yeah. So he starts ringing me up and says boldly that is 16.49 wait what...that is not 11 dollars. Then he brings in more attitude than a 7th grade girl who watches the Disney channel, as if he had not pitched enough drama to win a Soap award already. He is all like yeah that is what it would have been with out the rewards but with them it is only 5 dollars more. So i just try to solve this and just swipe my card but in haste punch in the wrong numbers and there are problems again because the little lady was declined. I start to rage and He is trying to tell me to chill and just do it again, trying to say that tonight is a good night, and we are like it was, and he is like are you saying I ruined it and I am like well you and Blockbuster it was a collaborative effort, and I swipe her again. It goes through, and I just want to get out of there, but I cannot with out my cards, and I am now regretting the decision of asking for three cards.An hour later we are out of that place.The drama that took place in that rental store was ridiculous!
After that taco bell seems to ease my pain. The movies were not even worth it and the scariest part of the whole night...this is really scary prepare yourself...I Danielle Nettuno thought that a man who wore a Hawaiian SHORT sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, and MANDALS, all in the same 130min. movie was ...CUTE! I am ashamed and scared and do not know how to handle this, but it just shows once again my life is in shambles!

and we have to have popcorn so that's about 50 bucks

2010-01-01T20:04:00.000-08:00

Anyone who has spent at least a day with me knows two things(if you do not know these then it was not a quality day and you should schedule another with me)I LOVE movies and popcorn, it is actually a little excessive, but hey everyone needs a muse. Anyway my family decided that we were going to see a movie only problem is the movies that are out right now are not to my liking that much. But with the appropriate amount of popcorn it is fine. BUT I will not see Avitar! Just because they are blue(Katies reason for seeing it), or because they spent like 500 million on it and the WHOLE thing was shot in 3d imax(the reason my brother saw it) I still see no plot line that draws me in. It just looks like someone wanted to make another war movie, but all the wars have already had a movie filmed about them and no one wants to dabble in the war aka shambles that is going on overseas(no offense I love the military)so they decided to make a compromise and move a war to a fictional place...LAME! They tied in a morality conflict a love "twist" and some weird dragons and they thought that would suffice, well it did not work on this girl. I will not be drinking that cinematic kool-aid.
So me and my mom decided to see Meet the Morgans (not a great alternative but at least they knew it was going to be lame and predictable and did not take a 500 million dollar bath) Well we got to the theater, perfect timing and that is when life took a downturn and did not look up until I filled the whole in me that was caused by a failure of a life with home made chex mix (and that did not happen till 10 ish and the movie was at 7:30 so you can see that there was a gap in which life kept knocking me down).
As stated before I love popcorn and must have it...No really i have to have it when I go to the movies, there was only one time in the past 3 yrs. that I remember not having it on my terms.So we go to get popcorn and the girl asks "do you want extra butter?" No we reply, my mom even makes a disgusted noise (in which I call her out on) to show that we do not want the butter, and yet she walks her little polo shirt and name badge over to the butter and loads her up. My mom asks if I want to say something and I'm just like, whatever I think the girl saw my eyes or realized her mistake because she then made a creepy compliment to my hair, and went on to explain her frustrations with her own. Well I just took the popcorn and we went to our movie, we sat down and they announced the previews would be starting, PERFECT! But my life cannot handle that kind of perfection so something was about to happen(hahaha)and it did. The picture went blurry and just kept getting worse, I look up and there are 4 people in that little film booth...how many employees does it take to fix a projector? answer obviously more than four because after 10 plus minutes the manager with the headset came in to bring us the news. Know during that ten minute down time I was prepping my mom to make a fit so that we could reap as much benefits from this, luckily she was on board. So the woman says that it won't be able to be fixed tonight so we all get voucher to see it another time GRAND.NOT! That was not good enough for me so I told my mom to wait it out for the other people to leave and then pitch the drama. I found it works better with less people around cause then they only have you to appease and do not have to worry about giving in to everyone else as well. So we go up to get our vouchers and my mom talks about how we bought popcorn to sit and watch nothing so she said that she would refund our popcorn if we had a minute. Jokes on her cause the movie was cancelled of course we had a minute, I mean what else would we have to rush out for we were planning on being there...duh. SO as we are following her she takes my popcorn from me, I guess that was the stipulation of the refund, but it was not stated before so I was semi taken aback, but whatever. SO we leave the theater and regroup. We will just go to blockbuster rent a movie and have coffee an biscotti that my mom just made, and I was all pumped for that cause I had a latte in the fridge from earlier that I was saving. At blockbuster we walk around for 30 min. finding nothing but I informed my mother she could make me and my sister very pleased if she rented the wizards of waverly place movie(she HATES that show so you can only imagine what this did to her morals) she agreed, so I thought it was not too bad of a run...wrong o
We get home and I realize that the DVD is not the movie but some crappy episodes and some real bad "fashion" advice from selina gomez. So know that that plan failed too I moved on to the coffee, well I come to the kitchen to find my mom cleaning the fridge of "some latte that is turned over and spilling down the fridge" MY LATTE! So my tries to salvage this night are almost all gone, and to top it all of I have heart burn from the butter that was on my popcorn(the pieces I managed to eat before the women took it away). So I finally settle down and we watch Julie and Julia which was actually cute and then I topped the night of with the chex mix. Wow what a day...

why don't you just stand between two trees

2009-12-23T20:02:00.000-08:00

Driving in FL has never been more of a challenge than it has been recently. up until now I could deal with all of the ridiculousness, but now that I do not live here and drive here constantly I just add to the noise. I have become as bad as those vans of Asians that I see every where ( I constantly see that happening now a days). So I was going to Orlando, to see Between the Trees, and I was not wearing my prescription glasses (problemo number one) and so the signs were not that clear to me. Well we forgot the fast pass so Fl now has these exit lanes for the non "E-pass" people or as I like to call them the arian race of FL, so we had barely enough toll money and it did not dawn on me that a dollar bill for a dollar toll was not exact change so, I had to maneuver my jeep over two lanes to get to the right toll booth, luckily some Asians(In a Van) were not paying attention so I cut in there. Well we got to the concert and I thought all that drama was over but o no it had only begun.
Well the concert was at a spiffy venue so that was solid, NOT, but we scored some stools so we thought the night would be golden. This was not a hardcore show or rap show so movement was not necessary. Only problem was our seats were right in the path that way too many people would be trying to walk through, so unfortunately there was movement. I try not to be judgmental but sometimes when it comes to clothing, particularly when it pertains to male clothing, but tonight it was not easy for me to stay impartial and nonjudgmental when certain "fashion" choices were in front of me. For instance, during the first band this couple (i guess) decided to stand in front of us. Now the majority of the people at the concert were between the ages of 15-22, and these people looked about 25-30ish and it was painfully obvious that they were trying to be hip. They were dancing awkwardly and the women looked like she semi knew what was going on, but he had no idea. At first I thought he had his life together, but then he took his jacket off and I realized how wrong I was. The man was wearing a button up long sleeved shirt, but witha short sleeve screen tee on top. This was so wrong, but I did not know how wrong until he turned to me and I saw that the shirt had a huge picture of a cat. What the heck was going on I swear he must have lost a bet. Now I am trying to refrain a little on this word but he was a fool, and looked like it, and his dancing was a bunch of awkwardly placed pelvic thrust so it was not a good time for me to have to see that. Thankfully they caught on to my disapproving glances and moved. But I also decided that I need to relax my face sometimes because I was not aware of how evil my glances appear sometimes. And this came to haunt me when some guy kept walking past with a horrible shirt (basically it was real ugly) and I kept looking at him, well turns out he was in the band, and he was hilarious but because of my shenanigans I could not talk to him after. My life. The concert was real good and We just had the drive back...problems begin.
After getting in the car we had a fun discussion about how my sister one time lost the parking garage ticket and the guy was like o it cost 60 dollars for a lost ticket. And I was like man that would stink good thing I have my ticket, well pulling up to the ticket thing turns out my ticket is not a ticket, but rather a coupon to lifeway...let the drama begin. So we are desperately searching the car and cannot find it and there are people behind me, and it is just not going well. Well then we find it but when I put it in it said sorry try again. And in my mind I am just like ok how am I supposed to do that it did not give the ticket back.Time passes and one of the precious workers comes over with a walkie-talkie I explain what happened and he tells me he'll be right back. He returns and tells me that he could not get a hold of anyone, and I am just like ok well can I just pay an go and he is all like yeah I guess what time did you get here. Well 6, so it should only be 9 dollars can I just give it to you, and he was like wait, just a second and walks away again. i do not understand why there is so much difficulty, I mean this is a parking garage in Orlando not the pentagon. Well another precious man with "authority" walks over and tries to help. By this point I am stress eating a lot of sour gummy worms, just wanting this to be over and he is like we have to find your ticket. He takes the thing apart and there are a million of them in there and he tells the other guy to look through them. (well this is real quality work) And I am like can I just pay you, and he is like yeah but it is 30 dollars for a lost ticket (this is when my attitude kicked in, along with the sugar so it was not pretty) and I was like I did not loose it, it is in the machine its not my fault. Then he snaps back at me fine then we will find it, but you have to wait. Waiting is not good for me, thankfully he found it and he tried to put it in and it did the same thing VALIDATION! and then he is all like o I have to run it inside, well I was like i do not care that will work. 6 minutes later I am out of there. total time 15 plus minutes. time I will never get back.
O and if you think the trouble ends there...wrong-o. I proceeded out, got a little lost and then ended up going down a "road closed" street. I saw a police officer do it so I thought that I could do the same thing,like just one lane was closed, but i was really wrong. It was just that he was a cop and could do what he wanted, and so when I did it all the people were just starring at me and I had to make a three point turn so it was heavily obvious that I had no idea how to do life. Then we got lost again, but finally made it back after stopping at steak-n-shake (where we made the drive through worker feel uncomfortable, just by being ourselves) and the night was finally over. I honestly do not know if I can ever go anywhere without a production, I am trying but it is not working...Maybe in the new year (not likely)

O happy Day...I got a cookie

2009-12-18T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today I ran errands with my sister, and that was the highlight of my day. Sad to admit but true. Anyway, i have developed a personal vendetta against our Starbucks here(long story) which is a problem because it is the only one, and the other coffee shop has inconvenient hrs, and location. So my vendetta against them makes my life difficult. So I will only go there if someone else is buying or my friend is working.Well today I hit the big time because not only did my sister treat, but my friend was working!
While at Starbucks I noticed that their cookies were labeled wrong, so I figured this was false advertising so I should take advantage of this situation. So when it was my turn, i started out by telling them that the cookies were labeled wrong so I needed that for free. He said so you want the cookie, and I was like only if you have a free button over there on your touch screen. Well he did and I got a cookie for free.Combining my two favorite things free stuff, and baked goods! I love cookies and I do not like the fact that the cookie monster can no longer eat as many cookies as he wants. He was my role model and if America is telling a puppet how to live I am afraid I might be next. They can take the monster away from the cookies and feed him carrots cause he says they are delicious, but I will not drink that kool-aid. I know that it is just another form of "the man" making him speak those blasphemous words. So I will not trade in my cookies for carrots even if this pleasant blue monster tells me too. SO America deal!
I drank my delicious green tea latte (which I was told makes them upset to make cause it makes the steam wand all nasty) while watching a unhealthy amount of Disney Channel GLORIOUS! And then I closed the day off by seeing The princess and the Frog (again) and eating Sonny's with the Family. and that is what I call a good day.

I found the new Bremuda Triangle

2009-12-17T19:39:00.000-08:00

So I have a 11 and a half hour drive to Florida, but that is a desired result, and not once has proved itself to be a reality to me. Maybe the physics in my mom's car apply differently to the time space continuum cause she always hits that mark, and yet I am always putterin down the highway for a good 12 hours. I swear there is something North Carolina has against me, but I just do not understand why. I got lost for 2 hrs. the going home for thanksgiving, got stuck in three hr. traffic on the way back, and got lost for an hour this time! I think this is the new Bermuda triangle, I am lucky I made it out alive, because honestly I had a good 3 min. breakdown this time. Someone was walking past my car while I was having said breakdown(basically me yelling at my sister about the situation, while using dramatic hand gestures)and he started walking faster. I know I looked fierce! But there is something about this state that just sucks you in and mentally you begin to die. North Carolina you have made my hit list. I do not know how I would go about killing a state, but the second I find out you are the one I choose, till then you are dead to me in my mind!
Well when we finally made it out of that horrible excuse for a lovely state we hit the road hard, trying to get home asap. But the only problem is I cannot speed. I am a recovering lead foot(true story I have documentation) and so I have to not let myself speed which is really hard when you have an almost open road and just want to be home. But I resisted and just accepted the fact that I would be in the car for a while. I feel sorry for drive through workers when I decided to stop for food, because I have not had a real conversation with someone other than my narcoleptic sister in about 5hrs. and I already am indecisive. So I order at arby's but I do not like the cheese on my sandwich so I use a napkin to wipe it off and then go to taco bell and ask if they have bbq sauce. They did not so I just looked foolish especially when I found out that there was already sauce in my bag. After that adventure I just keep driving. My sister randomly falls asleep so one second we were laughing, talking, singing etc. i look over and she is asleep. She does not recline the seat or anything, I mean she does not need to trouble herself with all those buttons because she will just be awake and hungry in 10 min. so she just sleeps sitting up, but creates an awkward double chin, so for me its worth it too. hahaha. only problem is I cannot operate a camera while driving so that image is just going to have to remain mental for everyone else.
You would think that driving with my sister would be fun. But i am here to say thinking and reality are totally different. i love her and it was fun but in the car she becomes so needy. I mean she would be the least needy clingy girlfriend UNLESS you took her on a car trip lasting longer than 30 min. she then morphs ( and I say morphs cause if I said transform she would think she was a transformer and think she was cool or this behavior was accceptable which it is not) into the equivelant of a 5 year old. She needs a lot of snacks and liquids. For a good 23 miles she could not stop saying how she just needed some liquids(she already had a small soda and half my drink) so we stop to get her drink, I want a snack, so I ask her opinion "pretzels of popcorn?" Definitely pretzels do not get popcorn, well I get it anyway and the girl who only wanted a drink is now munching on my popcorn. She then travels back into her mini coma only to wake up to ask if we can get milkshakes earlier than planned. What am I to do with this? We make it home(yes we got the milkshakes, mine was midget sized, which I was not happy about and said that a little to loud forgetting that our waitress was real little-my bad)and Katie wants to watch Harry potter, but I have to convince her to watch it in my room cause I know she will want to go to sleep halfway through and if we were in her room I(being able to stay up for a movie) would have to leave. Well it is less than halfway through and she is struggling, I ask if she is only up to prove a point she says yes so I tell her to stop trying and just give in. And I thought my life was in shambles.
So in summation we made it back. I hate North Carolina. And my sister is not the best travel buddy. It is a good thing that we weren't hiking I foresee fatality if that was our mode of transportation.Katie will make a great companion one day, but I feel like that day will only be when telaportation becomes a reality.

The last battle

2009-12-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

So before I was able to return to my native land of old people and mass tourism I had to turn in that lovely project for bible 350. Well when I went to work on it that night my computer decided that this would be a GREAT time to reconfigure and shut down all my word documents. So in a tantrum like state I trot on over to the CLab where I decide to just go hardcore on this beast and finish. What I did not know is that I would be making a new best friend that night.
The computer that was next to me was occupied but no one was sitting there for a good thirty min. I began to think that they would not be coming back. Well all hope was lost when at 11:50 the kid meanders back to this seat. He looks over at me and first thing say "looks like some pretty in-depth reading there." and I respond "yeah it's for my bible class" then he proceeds to tell me that his favorite verse is in Philippians, imagine that the very book I am reading about. Well as much of a conversationalist as I am I wanted this one shut down so I block him out of my sight (which is not hard cause I have no peripheral vision) and I continue to work. 5 min. later, "hey you got a dollar?" NO I do not who is this kid. At this point I begin to question why he is even at the C-Lab he has yet to turn his computer on. Then he lays down on his computer and tries to sleep but he is on the keyboard so iy keeps beeping at him, finally it frustrates him (I was frustrated already) and he shoves the keyboard away and continues to nap. I ask myself again why is he here. Then I swipe in and keep working he wakes up and just stares at me then asks what time is it? "12:40" what time did I go to sleep, who am I your mother? "um idk 12:10" o and its 12:20 now? "no 12:40" o this place is open all night right? "yeah" then he turns the computer on and starts laughing at weird animated movies. I have no idea what this kid is doing! it was so weird, anyway I finished my project and then had to make the C-Lab workers actually do something besides walk around and count people with a clipboard to look official. Life is golden at this time as I am putting it all together, when I realize I have two page 37's, of course I would this is my life so it was inevitable. Well I am not going to print again and so i become a master at the white out, and get myself out of there. Well after trying to exit out of a locked door I get halfway out and realize I did not log off, and I dont want that kid to steal my identity so I go back log off, and walk out again. But guess what my jump drive was still there so I had to go back a second time. My life! Anyway I turned that beast in and guess that is all that matters, but now I see why they say the journey is half the fun or half the torture.

swivel seats are not conducive for working

2009-12-14T20:39:00.000-08:00

So today I spent the majority of in the C-lab (computer lab for those who need the tabs on their bibles). It was a productive day in some aspects but as a whole I feel like today was a day lost. I got there and set up shop at a computer where no one else was, well that was changed and so I had to then concentrate on my work and my random outburst that I so frequently want to make (generally they are noises). So I had my popcorn DELICIOUS and I was ready to go. Already a girl was eyein me and making me all kinds of uncomfortable, either I was chewing loud or she was jealous that she did not have the sweet nibblets of popcorn that i did. So one of my dearest friends came to "help" me on this beast of a project, her only help was trying to check me out a reference book FOOLISH, so instant entertainment was added to the 3rd floor when we began to converse. I was really proud of myself for the work I was accomplishing despite her efforts to disrupt me by showing me pictures of taxidermy(which we all know I have a problem with). But then I hit a wall and needed a break, bad idea because since that "break" to get a drink I feel like I never went back to work fully. Anyway I wanted a drink with a straw and apparently that is grounds for mockery from everyone because when I was walking back everyone was staring and smirking, also every time I went to take a sip chelsea (crap I was not going to name her) had to snicker and call me precious like I was a child or something. So after my liquids I could not stop taking advantage of the swivel chair so chelsea decided to tape me...well the critique reviews are in and I am only funny in sped up time. when the footage was regular I wanted to put those watching out of their misery, but in cut time(so to speak) I became a comical genius. maybe that is why alvin and the chipmunks are a big hit it is kinda the same thing.
Then my project took a back seat as I surveyed the room and made a mental note of all the fashion mishaps. Can I just say you are inside take that little precious knit cap off!I ended the day with some Christmas carols in which I did not realize the guy two computers over was listening until I hit the power verse in o come o come Emmanuel and he burst with laughter I then tried to shove as much of my body into the little cubical. FAIL! So it was time for me to say good bye to the 3rd floor I packed up all my stuff logged off left a glorious popcorn trail and happily trucked off. that was until I remembered an hour later I left my jump drive at my station! three flights of stairs does not leave a girl looking feminine and quaint when one reaches the top. So i bust up in there lookin fresh grab my jump drive and leave head held low and project not dominated. UGH! C-Lab we will regretfully meet again tomorrow

Can I just use websters?

2009-12-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

So I was doing my bible commentary( I know I am shocked too) and I realized that, actually it was pointed out that, I cannot use just any old dictionary to define these terms, I need a bible dictionary. Problem! All my books are overdue, in hindsight not a good idea. twenty cents a day sounded like a far trade for not having to go down there and renew them, but now it does not seem like a good trade because I owe a lot of money(mental math never s strong point in my life) and I need to check out said stupid dictionary. this project is really testing me emotionally and physically. Emotionally because I am getting real stressed, physically because I am solving my stress not by doing the project but by eating. This is not good. Other things that this project has given me... the Cuban missal crisis aka my pimple laden face. what was once the Spanish armada is now the beginnings of the cold war. Honestly this class has not added anything to my life, I mean I only physically was present in that class, some biblical studies major challenged my life(did not go over well), and now my life is in shambles because of this project.
Also I thought to myself hmmm I really need to stay awake so I can get work done, I will allow myself to drink an energy drink and do this. Well I drank the energy drink and that is about it. I lost all steam on the project, all I did was copy ans paste the verses in and bold some stuff. Let us just state that, that will not be sufficient. And now I have all these chemicals streaming through my system and I do not know what to do with myself. In the past hour I have stuck my head in a popcorn bucket, ate some apples, explained to someone that selling drugs is not an act of terrorism, even if they are from another country(true story), and now I am about to pace the room for a little bit until I crash. I think that was not my goal at all and yet I am feeling no remorse, huh I do not foresee a good attitude tomorrow though.
If you want to see the true repercussions of procrastination and screwing around for a whole semester even though you have 18 credit hours, come see the saga unfold on the 3rd floor tomorrow, as I desperately try to fix this. O and this is an open invitation but if video is taken I expect part of the proceeds and they will go to that bible dictionary and overdue library books. O and how is this for sweet biblical irony...this is part of the passage I am commentating "be anxious in nothing but in everything prayer and supplication, giving thanks, let your request be known to God, and he will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus" hahaha

um...I'll take the bread chips

2009-12-12T19:26:00.000-08:00

So I know there is NO way that I will be able to fully capture my true emotions toward customers that challenge my life in panera, through their indecisiveness, and other various points of annoyance, but for the sake of those who read about my life I will try.
So you probably have heard the bread chip story before. The one that goes "would you like bread chips or an apple?" (said boldly)"I'll take the bread chips!" And in my mind I have a mini meltdown of frustration. WHAT THE HECK IS A BREAD CHIP, AND IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHY WOULD YOU ORDER IT! And if this story seems intriguing to you just ask me about it sometime, cause I would love to explain the total severity of this situation. But that is not what I am here to do now. I am here to write out all the things that just blow my mind that people do in panera, and leave me wondering "why must I work in food services?"
1. When there is a line all the way around the resturant and yet when the person at the back arrives to the front they still do not know what they want, claiming "I guess I should have been thinking about that huh?" I mean do they really want me to answer that? No its fine that you just spent the last 20 min. doing everything but think of what you wanted to order, the very thing you cam in here to do. Really?!
2. When they say "can I have..." (I do this too sometimes, but it is still funny) I just want to be like no you cannot go away.
3. When they mumble their order to each other and expect you to put it on their order, and God forbid you forget their drink.
4. When they expect their u-pick two to come with a drink. I understand it is a bit pricey but it does not come with one. So they come up to me in an angered state saying, "um...I did not get my cup" while I am with another customer. So I crumble in this confrontation stand off and just give them a stupid cup.
5. The fact that to all panera guests it is crazy that they should have their meal without a drink. And I am so wrong to not offer them one cause I mean it is obvious that water will not suffice and a 1.77 drink must be added. And it is not so much the drink it is the tone in which they explain to me why they need a drink.
6. This is just hilarious. When people butcher the names of our sandwiches with boldness, it is a glorious site. um the chi-pot-al chicken
7. When I wear my name tag and people have to make our little conversation personal so they use my name. Um you don't know my life, were you invited to my party...NO! geez
8.When people ask what I would order/like, or ask for a trillion samples and then get the broccoli soup.
9. The fact that we are out of bread bowls or bread is my fault, the cashier. I guess i look more talented than I thought, and they just assume that I can control these things. Guess what I cannot! So look elsewhere to place your complaints and disappointments.
10. when people throw away whole apples or bags of chips, it is so wasteful.
11. when people cannot remember their name for their order.Me "can I get a name for the order?" Them "blank stare..O yeah dennis haha I can't believe I forgot my name" Me(in my mind this time) O I know you are so funny it is not like you are the 12th person to do this in 10min.
12. When they make up their own names for our u-pick two. My favorites...the twofer the 2, the combo, choose two thingy, half-in-half and many other variations.
13. Parents who just let their children run free while they have a good lunch with the girls. Then I have to clean up their game of lets waste coffee lids and sprinkle cinnamon all over.
14. The fact that whenever I have to restock the drink station, it all of a sudden is where everybody needs to be at that moment. They complain when the stuff is out, but they disappointingly sigh behind me cause I cant move fast enough when I am trying to refill it. We are dealing with lemons her blue hairs not missals! O and when I have trays in my hands or dishes(like a lot) it is craziness for me to want to get past them before they enter the dinning room, I mean they are carrying that heavy pager and all.
And lastly, as if this list had a real end.I am just stopping here cause I cannot go any further without shouting and that is not good for me to do right now.
15. The simple fact that on my employee card(which I am encouraged to carry around) it says "no jerks allowed" and do you know what that means...I am not allowed at my own place of business. I beat the system but now it is beating me cause now I am to abide by this.
Well I hope you enjoyed those, trust me there are many more. And I will gladly share them to the interested. But for now let me leave you with this, our customer service motto ...at Panera Bread the answer is always yes!...revised edition...at Panera Bread the answer is always yes!unless Danielle is working then you might just not even want to ask.

I have never seen silent night done so seductively

2009-12-11T22:50:00.000-08:00

So coffee house...pretty sure the most random combination of my life(well not exactly but top 5 material). Anyway, first off the second there is a semi decent event at Liberty the campus becomes ridiculous. There are throngs of people everywhere coupled with the fact that no one knows how to operate in minor traffic so it becomes a mess rather quickly! So I had to park my car in a spot that until tonight I never knew existed, and I am still debating whether or not it is even attached to the campus(minor exaggeration). Then I am walking in the cold all alone in a ridiculous coat, passing people left and right(mainly couples who refuse to walk separately because they are a couple and now they loose all sense of coordination and can no longer handle walking) and all the while people are staring at me wondering why I am serpinting through these random clots of people. I make it inside and there are even more people...what a shocker! I have never seen my holiday joy dwindle so quickly. I heard this old lady talking to her friend one time and she said(about being in crowds) when all else fails stop moving, well let's just say all of the LU campus adopted that theology and decided proper application was inside the vines center. Funny thing about all this was the only place where it was not teeming with people was the women's restroom...um RANDOM because that is a place I generally run into the problem of too many people.
So the show begins and i swear people do not know how to arrange music properly because every band that tried it um lets just say i should not be surprised and confused when the other melody begins to play. Also on that note paramore(especially 2 yr. old paramore songs) do not and should not be arranged with a Christmas song it was totally a FAIL in my musical opinion. On the bright side the show was heavily seasoned with AMAZING Asian talent and polygamy is looking like a good idea(for me and asians that is). Also for a good portion of the night I was resting my foot on what I thought to be the seat back...nope turns out it was a person's back which in the dark looked the same to me...sorry.
Then there was a band I had ot hold in my comments because there were family members of the band behind me, let us just say that was one of the hardest things, they had a good instrumental set going for them but I do not think that constitutes an automatic awesomeness for the singer. It was my favorite Christmas song slain by some random screams of another songs and to this moment I have no idea if they thought they were rock or hardcore, because I do not think they even knew.
But on the bright side my favorite little keyboard player(Branden) showed up to the fullest. He almost lost a lot of points because he asked me to stand and then played the Jesus card to try and validate the claim, but I would not budge. He still won me over because he showed the whole vines center the only proper way a short sleeve dress shirt should be worn...and trust me this is something Liberty really needed to see. Now his band on the other hand um....they were good minus two of the members looked like they were wearing my fur coat attachment on their faces, and we all know this is a problem.
well just thought I would share that...

so you blog now?

2009-12-10T21:32:00.000-08:00

So I decided that starting a blog would be a good idea. I am not quite sure yet who or what it is good for, but all in all I think it will be good for something. And if you disagree please do not tell me, I have enough negativity directed toward my life day to day. Anywho I decided to make this finally happen because of a couple of factors; my roommate is asleep so the light is off and I am not tired, I am full because I decided to eat at 11 and I cannot go to bed like this, and lastly the only thing I can do when the lights are off is go on facebook(no one is doing anything of interest there) or check my email(no new ones). So I decided that this would be a good time to just start off my blogging. Honestly I have no idea who is going to read this, or who would want to so I am realizing now that I am just typing out randomness to waste time. My life is in shambles...
So altogether my life today was rather productive. I went to convo., then went to lunch, where I paid for someones lunch and they not knowing went to a seperate line and paid for theirs...um ok I love paying for something that was already purchased. Anyway, then I worked on my Bible 350 project for close to 3hrs. and in that time probably only talked for about 10min. if you know me then you will know that not only is that hard but extremly dangerous. Because the next time I am around people it is not pretty, I cannot help it but after being quite for so long I feel the need to make up for and will not be quite for the next 6hrs. I went to Panera(my place of business) and bought bagels for open dorms. This was my mindset going into it...there are too many pretty girls on this hall for guys to just walk into my room, so I had to have a catch and that was executed through highly caloried carbs. But to my dismay this dd not work as planned for I was still without men(that's an awkward statement) for a good majority of the time and when some did show up they just ate and it was weird. But through this open dorm experience I saw how pointless they really are. I mean you just hang out with your friends goofing off hoping some cute guy will come in and if not then all it was was a normal night but with your door open. Dumb! I did enjoy my day though.
So this blog is not funny has no point but I had to write one to start it all off so hopefully they will get better, and if not then I will just delete this account pretend it never happened and let this be a unspoken reminder of another failure of mine(and no I am not depressed, just emotional)