Last time I went to Christmas coffee house and was a little disappointing, and this spring did not do much better, at least from my evaluation stand point. This time I was smart though and made sure I had my ticket and car parked before all the traffic and stressful situations ensued on campus because we all know I that me, stress, and traffic do not create the most delightful situation. Since I had my life together I had time to watch some Criminal Minds before coffee house, but I guess to replace the drama that I normally have with coffee house, this took its place. My DVD player is on the decline and only works on its terms, and because it is a machine there is no way for it to voice its terms so I am constantly praying that it will decide to work when I want it to, but normally it does not! So I think I have it working and I have like 7 people in the room all ready to watch this and then it happens...SCRATCH! O I am livid trying to play it cool, these are new discs and I had not even watched one yet. The only person that has was someone who borrowed them from me, and because I do not want to create a situation I will omit their name. So, due to the scratch the DVD player is no longer responsive so we resort to the laptop, and it works and we watch in glorious wonderment, all except Nicole who does not like this show and gets too scared, therefore I can only watch them when she is not around or there is a large majority of people forcing her to watch. As the episode concludes it is time for the real production and I am accompanied with Nicole and my sister so it defiantly was a production. I have a hard time controlling my volume, but I at least try, my sister on the other hand does not, and yet walking to coffee house someone shh'ed me from their window(this did not go over well cause I am outside and as Nicole pointed out there are no quiet hours outside) to that I respond I will not be told to shh in the outdoors and proceeded on. (looking back though it might not have been our volume as much as the topic of the conversation, which was ways I did not want to die)
I am all ready to go with my popcorn and beverage(as Katie puts it) ready to enjoy the show...to high of an expectation I find out. First off...NOT A SINGLE ASAIN. and I am like, bad move the Asians are normally the only redeeming factor of it, you cut them out and you are headed to shaky ground. The opening act is performed by "the bag ladies" what is this you ask? O well it is ladies in these sack things and they dance. Well...this thing has ALWAYS creeped me out and while they were very good at dancing it was too much to handle. I could not watch it and Katie had to hold me as I kept my eyes shut, the problem was they were dancing to catchy music so I kept wanting to look, and then did and it was a regret. I was so close to a panic attack (no lie or exaggeration) So I did not have to much hope for the rest of the show.
Now onto the "bands" that performed, there is too much to say, so I will just highlight some things that did not sit well with me. When you are in a band that is singing a almost pop song there is no reason for you to skip around and rock out like this is an epic hardcore set and your moves are needed to amp the crowd. Also if you are trying to go for that whole indie-rock scene do not hire a guitar player that makes it obvious by his stage presence has played one to many rounds of guitar hero, and just wants to rock the stage because in the end you sacrifice your image. Another band thought it would be okay to rely solely on their looks and taste in fashion as an excuse to be foolish and not really play anything worth listening to, and here is a tip from me...if you are going to want to rock out but play the keyboard invest in a keytar, you not only will hurt your back strapping a full keyboard around your neck and it is not funny you just look like you are trying to hard for the cheap laughs, I am sorry if that sounds harsh. But I make a fool of my self on a daily basis and I am not even trying, so when I see people trying so hard to be a fool it just makes me angry. Then the anger escalated as the FOOL from my church ministries class, who went on a rant about how hardcore music was the new form of worship and how this show he went to (one in which he failed to mention was ended early cause the cops were called due to unruly behavior)was where he say the most authentic form of worship ever, and everyday after that came to class early too blast on his laptop screamo music. (which I like too, but his ignorance was too much especially when he was talking about it all passionately he got the band's name wrong)he comes on stage in a velvet dress, supposedly as a World of Warcraft character, but that does not make it better. So he is up there trying to be all clever but, sorry still a Fool in my book. And the last thing is I just have a problem I guess with bands who play rock are so excited and think they are automatically the shiz that they have to prove their "awesomeness" by always being in a state of rock. I mean this band was not even introduced yet we were still in the middle of one of their games and he had to prepare his rock stance on the amp and stay there until it was time. I don;t know I just have a problem with pre-planing what you are going to do...I mean be original.
Also I learned from this that people think that just because they know and can "rap" the theme song of Fresh Prince they are thug. The opportunity presented itself and people ate it up, all moving around like they were rapping some eminem song...Out of Control! The night was semi redeemed by my brother dorm doing a Disney song medley, in which I also learned that one way to my heart is singing Disney songs to me...o how glorious. But all in all the lack of Asians, the excess of want to be edgy/indie bands just left much to be desired. But also in saying that I understand I could not have done almost 80 percent of what was done, so I will give them that, but since they can do it and I can't I want them to do a good job, and live up to their potential(hahaha just kidding on that last part).
And now I end the night with not Criminal Minds, but the Princess and the Frog, something that Nicole can handle...YEah Friday night
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
a picture is worth a thousand words...well I have a couple
I used to do photography at the community college for about 2yrs. and I really enjoyed it and yet there was one class that I was dreading taking, portraiture. Luckily I changed my major and decided to take my talent (that's an exaggeration) elsewhere. But my friend Tori decided that she was going to continue and pursue photography and so she has been taking all the classes that I took and it has prompted many funny conversations in which we talk about all the old people who were in our classes and refused to only take pictures of nature and birds, and all loved to befriend us coincidentally. It never failed that in a class of 20+ students 13 would be in the senior citizen category, I had one who was 60 and yet had a rolly backpack red spiked hair, only wore a bright pink and purple windbreaker and worked at sea world so ALL her pictures were of...of course sea world, which would be fine if we could skip the 20min. story that went along with them. So anyway Tori finally got to where she had to take portraiture and therefore she has been "enjoying" it thoroughly.
Where do I fit into this? Well Tori took advantage of the fact that I would be in the FL this week, and considering she was home schooled and doesn't get out much(this is a running joke between us trust me she takes no offense) she has already run out of models because each week you have to have a new one. Therefore I was called into duty. Well let's just say that those who don't do teach, and I always applied that to photography life. I don't like my picture taken, that is why I took them so for me to "model" it was not that comfortable. But I took one for the team and sucked it up. The plan was that I was to meet her 5:30 and it would be done quickly. Well that changed when Tori had to share her studio time with some other women from her class. I did not think this would be a problem, but quickly became one.
I enter the studio and this women was sooo ridiculous! She had brought her like 25 year old daughter who was dressed in all black skirt ensemble and black leather boots, it was real proactive and I am like in a sweater and skinny jeans, and yet
I am the one questioning my outfit choice. And the women begins to test the lights and proves within minutes she has NO idea what is going on because every ten seconds she is summoning the help of Tori. This is infringing on my life because I am mid conversation about the shambles that have been going on and so it is hard when you are being cut off constantly. Well the poses that this women is placing her daughter are out of control, and one comment and I quote..."wow that is ALOT of leg action I got in that one, but I think I am liking it, it is good!" At this point I am questioning whether she should be allowed to have a camera, and be on her way to a degree. And they are supposed to sharing this time and yet it has been 45 min.and we have yet to do any shooting on our part, mainly because she needed Tori's "great" affirmation for every shot and lighting, but this women was so wrapped up in her work not to notice what any child could that Tori's affirming words where laden with heavy sarcasm and just wanting it to be done.Well finally she is ready to let Tori have a "go at it," but decides that she needs to help us out with posing and therefore I became her next victim...
Well yesterday I got major sunburn on my shins and getting them in the pants was a situation in itself, but then it got worse. The women decided to stay and help and told Tori that she should take advantage of my beads(um what does that mean?)Tori positioned me and the women said that she thought I should be just like...and that's when she came at em no warning and grabbed my shin and started moving it across the floor. Inside I am dying screaming out for she is holding tightly to my burned leg. She continues to add her two sense in to EVERY shot and every so often coming and "helping position me" and then all of a sudden she forgot that she wanted to use beads with her daughter so she needed the space again(keep in mind she had her daughter do poses in 3 different pairs of shoes and another outfit, and now remembered she needed beads)So we let her go again and regroup exchanging glances that mean more than words can say. The stuff that comes out of this women is beyond normal and I am just soaking it in. Finally we are done and I have to go to the bathroom and then I remember....This bathroom has caused so much fear in my life and I thought I would never have to go back but I did.
The story behind this is that I have a problem with public restrooms, ever since I watched scream 2 my life has never been the same. I have a vivid imagination and when I am in there I just see the scene play out and I run out of there so fast. When I took classes there they were always at night and the hallways were always dark because they were not in use, so it was hard enough to get into the bathroom and then once in there it was not much better. Let me describe this for you the bathroom has two doors and if you open one the other opens automatically. So it always creeped me out and then sometimes, no lie, one of the toilets will always flush on its own so I am just trying to get out. But tonight I cannot avoid it so I have to face my fear and go there. Let's just say it was not one of my shining moments, but I did business and left that place, this time hopefully for good.
Where do I fit into this? Well Tori took advantage of the fact that I would be in the FL this week, and considering she was home schooled and doesn't get out much(this is a running joke between us trust me she takes no offense) she has already run out of models because each week you have to have a new one. Therefore I was called into duty. Well let's just say that those who don't do teach, and I always applied that to photography life. I don't like my picture taken, that is why I took them so for me to "model" it was not that comfortable. But I took one for the team and sucked it up. The plan was that I was to meet her 5:30 and it would be done quickly. Well that changed when Tori had to share her studio time with some other women from her class. I did not think this would be a problem, but quickly became one.
I enter the studio and this women was sooo ridiculous! She had brought her like 25 year old daughter who was dressed in all black skirt ensemble and black leather boots, it was real proactive and I am like in a sweater and skinny jeans, and yet
I am the one questioning my outfit choice. And the women begins to test the lights and proves within minutes she has NO idea what is going on because every ten seconds she is summoning the help of Tori. This is infringing on my life because I am mid conversation about the shambles that have been going on and so it is hard when you are being cut off constantly. Well the poses that this women is placing her daughter are out of control, and one comment and I quote..."wow that is ALOT of leg action I got in that one, but I think I am liking it, it is good!" At this point I am questioning whether she should be allowed to have a camera, and be on her way to a degree. And they are supposed to sharing this time and yet it has been 45 min.and we have yet to do any shooting on our part, mainly because she needed Tori's "great" affirmation for every shot and lighting, but this women was so wrapped up in her work not to notice what any child could that Tori's affirming words where laden with heavy sarcasm and just wanting it to be done.Well finally she is ready to let Tori have a "go at it," but decides that she needs to help us out with posing and therefore I became her next victim...
Well yesterday I got major sunburn on my shins and getting them in the pants was a situation in itself, but then it got worse. The women decided to stay and help and told Tori that she should take advantage of my beads(um what does that mean?)Tori positioned me and the women said that she thought I should be just like...and that's when she came at em no warning and grabbed my shin and started moving it across the floor. Inside I am dying screaming out for she is holding tightly to my burned leg. She continues to add her two sense in to EVERY shot and every so often coming and "helping position me" and then all of a sudden she forgot that she wanted to use beads with her daughter so she needed the space again(keep in mind she had her daughter do poses in 3 different pairs of shoes and another outfit, and now remembered she needed beads)So we let her go again and regroup exchanging glances that mean more than words can say. The stuff that comes out of this women is beyond normal and I am just soaking it in. Finally we are done and I have to go to the bathroom and then I remember....This bathroom has caused so much fear in my life and I thought I would never have to go back but I did.
The story behind this is that I have a problem with public restrooms, ever since I watched scream 2 my life has never been the same. I have a vivid imagination and when I am in there I just see the scene play out and I run out of there so fast. When I took classes there they were always at night and the hallways were always dark because they were not in use, so it was hard enough to get into the bathroom and then once in there it was not much better. Let me describe this for you the bathroom has two doors and if you open one the other opens automatically. So it always creeped me out and then sometimes, no lie, one of the toilets will always flush on its own so I am just trying to get out. But tonight I cannot avoid it so I have to face my fear and go there. Let's just say it was not one of my shining moments, but I did business and left that place, this time hopefully for good.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
ROADTRIP...
So I am NEVER good at planning or packing so getting ready to go on this trip was a handful. I had to work from 4-8 at the lovely panera of bread and so our little trip would not even begin until after 8, but all was fine because my aunt offered her house to us as a semi halfway point to rest for our trip. But here is the situation...I was not smart about my engagements before my work shift and so getting out was not as smooth as I thought.
It all stems from my decision Thursday night to stay up till past 2 watching John and Kate plus Eight. Bad idea on soo many levels. One because I had just ransacked my room in efforts to pack(which did not go so well) and did not have the stamina to clean up after, in theory leaving it for the morning. Second it was 2 in the flippin morning! so I was tired and needed that rest, but O no logic leaves me and I sit through a good 3 episodes. Therefore I wake up not at 8 like I was planning, but rather by the grace of God at 9:47. If that does not strike anxiety in you it is probably because you do not realize that it is Friday therefore convo at 10 and room checks. So i pop out of bed and at this point am just trying to get dressed and my stuff for class. Well I open my clothes drawer and instantly the repercussions of packing like a child hit me...ALL my pants minus my purple ones are packed. So instead of being able to through on some pants and a shirt I am forced to make a conscience outfit because you can't just put on anything with purple pants. So i record time my getting ready and make it to convo at 9:58(no exaggeration) but I had no time to clean the room from the disaster like state it was in, so I just left an I'm sorry note with a sad face in the sink on top of my dishes.
Well after convo I have to teach a 40min bible lesson to a group of college students who have to act like 6-8year olds. And this is of course a group project and the puppeter came through with his puppets, so I was forseeing not so favorable results. Well I get to class and only 4 ppl show which makes it a little easier, but at the same time not because one of my group members is insane, and me and the other girl are constantly exchanging our nervous glances. The lesson went pretty well except I forgot to put one phrase in the verse scramble and that created unneeded "chaos," but all was ok because we were told to end early therefore...sad day we had to cut the puppets!
Well at this point I have an excess of meal points and scholarship dollars so it was time to raid the keyhole with AMy for snacks and energy drinks, and so we begin to truck to the circle( a place I avoid like the plague)but we loose drive and take a bus there and back, but not before we were judged by everyone there for the amount of junk we bought.
Now at this point in the day it is raining and I have to pack my car, have accountability, go get a money order, and turn in my apartment application, all in an hour and a half. Sounds impossible... not for me! So I use my strength and carry half my crap to my car in the pit(in the rain with my laptop...bad idea) and then drive it up to the hill to load the rest, but not until my ID case wallet breaks and i almost leave my phone charger. I decide to test the towing policy and park at demoss, and i won that day because I was NOT towed, but I am not going to tempt fate again. Then I begin to pick up the pace, I run into walmart get this money order thing and speed off to wyndhurst. All goes well and I make it to work on time, and I got gas!!!So even though the day started crazy I finally got my life together. 8 runs around and it is time we are off! I thought I had directions on lock down, turns out they were backwards, so Chelsea became navigational interpreter of the car, but because we also had Amy in the car she also assumed the role of "enforcer" (don't worry she is getting a badge) and she issued warnings to Amy for her behavior(too many and she would be kicked out of the car). Well we are putt puttering around, making good time, even though it is rainy and we really had to watch out for hydroplaning which almost happened 5 times!, and the energy drinks begin to be consumed...Let's just say me and Amy should not be on them at the same time, from them on it was a little dicey.We stop at a gas station and want to give katie a preview of what was going on in our car (see you again by Miley and party in the USA) so we pump it up get out and start dancing in the gas station, well she was not watching, and so we thought it was all a waste until I look a little farther down the parking lot to see, a truck driver just sitting in his truck staring, we stop dancing he drives off, I loose it...it was out of control then other results, me screaming songs at the top of my lungs(now I am enjoying those benefits of a hindered voice now)and dancing, and Amy randomly doing the Chiodos cheetah scream in my ear and count it, 4 times biting me...it was out of control. Chelsea of course was eating it up and even caught some on film, something I will regret consenting to later on. Well the chemicals that were coursing through my veigns subsided and me and Chel had some good real talk, followed by a session with the amazing Damien Rice at 2 in the morning, that def. took a toll on our emotions...
Well as all was going as good as 3 insane people in a car for 6 hrs could be, my sister on the other hand was not having as easy of a time( I will not go there because its her life not mine) so she makes the call that we need to put a sub in...this posses a problem.
Me being excellent at problem solving decide that Amy can drive Gilbert(my jeep) cause she had when I was sick, and I would drive the brave little toaster(katie's)So kaite is just done with driving and jets off at the next exit, not even looking to see if there is anything there, turns out there is not, so she just drives 3miles down a dark road pulls off by woods and parks her car(solid safe thinking right...not for someone who watches too much TV) so i jump out of my car and try to make this a quick switch, but I needed a snack, so I did hold us up a little. We make the switch and we are off again. In saying this it will no longer be a secret, but I secretly love driving her car, so it was a good break, except the CDS were by the passenger side door and the passenger was asleep so playing DJ was a little challenging but I feel like I rose to the challenge. We make it to the exit for my Aunts and victory over this trip is in sight except I have to follow, for Chelsea who is in the other car has the directions. She has not steered us wrong yet so I am trusting her, that is until we pull onto a dirt road. We are in Georgia I have not seen a house or subdivision the whole way and now we are on a dirt road...well this is the time that the passenger in my car wakes up, o yeah how awkward is that I don't know her that well she passed out asleep wakes up and I am driving her on a dark dirt road in what appears to be the middle of now where. So I begin to internally question their skills, and the jeep is doing great on the dirt but the scion is leaving much to be desired, so after we drive for what seems like forever I see houses but then they start reversing out of no where and I cannot hold my tongue, so I scream at them(like they can hear me ) poor Gabbi(the passenger) is just listening to me, but we get there, and with a bed in sight all hostility dies down.
O but going to bed would just be too easy, and me and AMy are sharing a bed and she decides that trying out my aunts lotion would be a great idea, well it is NOT because for some reason bath and body works made a lotion that smells like brisk ice tea(what were they thinking) and so Amy now smells like brisk and I have to sleep with this. 4 hours later and we are back on the road. The dirt road is SO less creepy in the day light, but I loose Chelsea as a passenger at the first gas station because once again Katie cant handle her life, so I am left with no enforcer and it is just me and Amy. But minus the fact that I held my bathroom break from Jacksonville to Titusville 3hrs, and so I am in need of the facilities. And I ate half a piece of chocolate and set it down, well sure enough the sun melted it, so amy had to use her hands as a napkin, and I am stuck licking my Ipod. Not a good situation, but she was secure I located a bathroom and we finally reached our destination of my lovely household!
It all stems from my decision Thursday night to stay up till past 2 watching John and Kate plus Eight. Bad idea on soo many levels. One because I had just ransacked my room in efforts to pack(which did not go so well) and did not have the stamina to clean up after, in theory leaving it for the morning. Second it was 2 in the flippin morning! so I was tired and needed that rest, but O no logic leaves me and I sit through a good 3 episodes. Therefore I wake up not at 8 like I was planning, but rather by the grace of God at 9:47. If that does not strike anxiety in you it is probably because you do not realize that it is Friday therefore convo at 10 and room checks. So i pop out of bed and at this point am just trying to get dressed and my stuff for class. Well I open my clothes drawer and instantly the repercussions of packing like a child hit me...ALL my pants minus my purple ones are packed. So instead of being able to through on some pants and a shirt I am forced to make a conscience outfit because you can't just put on anything with purple pants. So i record time my getting ready and make it to convo at 9:58(no exaggeration) but I had no time to clean the room from the disaster like state it was in, so I just left an I'm sorry note with a sad face in the sink on top of my dishes.
Well after convo I have to teach a 40min bible lesson to a group of college students who have to act like 6-8year olds. And this is of course a group project and the puppeter came through with his puppets, so I was forseeing not so favorable results. Well I get to class and only 4 ppl show which makes it a little easier, but at the same time not because one of my group members is insane, and me and the other girl are constantly exchanging our nervous glances. The lesson went pretty well except I forgot to put one phrase in the verse scramble and that created unneeded "chaos," but all was ok because we were told to end early therefore...sad day we had to cut the puppets!
Well at this point I have an excess of meal points and scholarship dollars so it was time to raid the keyhole with AMy for snacks and energy drinks, and so we begin to truck to the circle( a place I avoid like the plague)but we loose drive and take a bus there and back, but not before we were judged by everyone there for the amount of junk we bought.
Now at this point in the day it is raining and I have to pack my car, have accountability, go get a money order, and turn in my apartment application, all in an hour and a half. Sounds impossible... not for me! So I use my strength and carry half my crap to my car in the pit(in the rain with my laptop...bad idea) and then drive it up to the hill to load the rest, but not until my ID case wallet breaks and i almost leave my phone charger. I decide to test the towing policy and park at demoss, and i won that day because I was NOT towed, but I am not going to tempt fate again. Then I begin to pick up the pace, I run into walmart get this money order thing and speed off to wyndhurst. All goes well and I make it to work on time, and I got gas!!!So even though the day started crazy I finally got my life together. 8 runs around and it is time we are off! I thought I had directions on lock down, turns out they were backwards, so Chelsea became navigational interpreter of the car, but because we also had Amy in the car she also assumed the role of "enforcer" (don't worry she is getting a badge) and she issued warnings to Amy for her behavior(too many and she would be kicked out of the car). Well we are putt puttering around, making good time, even though it is rainy and we really had to watch out for hydroplaning which almost happened 5 times!, and the energy drinks begin to be consumed...Let's just say me and Amy should not be on them at the same time, from them on it was a little dicey.We stop at a gas station and want to give katie a preview of what was going on in our car (see you again by Miley and party in the USA) so we pump it up get out and start dancing in the gas station, well she was not watching, and so we thought it was all a waste until I look a little farther down the parking lot to see, a truck driver just sitting in his truck staring, we stop dancing he drives off, I loose it...it was out of control then other results, me screaming songs at the top of my lungs(now I am enjoying those benefits of a hindered voice now)and dancing, and Amy randomly doing the Chiodos cheetah scream in my ear and count it, 4 times biting me...it was out of control. Chelsea of course was eating it up and even caught some on film, something I will regret consenting to later on. Well the chemicals that were coursing through my veigns subsided and me and Chel had some good real talk, followed by a session with the amazing Damien Rice at 2 in the morning, that def. took a toll on our emotions...
Well as all was going as good as 3 insane people in a car for 6 hrs could be, my sister on the other hand was not having as easy of a time( I will not go there because its her life not mine) so she makes the call that we need to put a sub in...this posses a problem.
Me being excellent at problem solving decide that Amy can drive Gilbert(my jeep) cause she had when I was sick, and I would drive the brave little toaster(katie's)So kaite is just done with driving and jets off at the next exit, not even looking to see if there is anything there, turns out there is not, so she just drives 3miles down a dark road pulls off by woods and parks her car(solid safe thinking right...not for someone who watches too much TV) so i jump out of my car and try to make this a quick switch, but I needed a snack, so I did hold us up a little. We make the switch and we are off again. In saying this it will no longer be a secret, but I secretly love driving her car, so it was a good break, except the CDS were by the passenger side door and the passenger was asleep so playing DJ was a little challenging but I feel like I rose to the challenge. We make it to the exit for my Aunts and victory over this trip is in sight except I have to follow, for Chelsea who is in the other car has the directions. She has not steered us wrong yet so I am trusting her, that is until we pull onto a dirt road. We are in Georgia I have not seen a house or subdivision the whole way and now we are on a dirt road...well this is the time that the passenger in my car wakes up, o yeah how awkward is that I don't know her that well she passed out asleep wakes up and I am driving her on a dark dirt road in what appears to be the middle of now where. So I begin to internally question their skills, and the jeep is doing great on the dirt but the scion is leaving much to be desired, so after we drive for what seems like forever I see houses but then they start reversing out of no where and I cannot hold my tongue, so I scream at them(like they can hear me ) poor Gabbi(the passenger) is just listening to me, but we get there, and with a bed in sight all hostility dies down.
O but going to bed would just be too easy, and me and AMy are sharing a bed and she decides that trying out my aunts lotion would be a great idea, well it is NOT because for some reason bath and body works made a lotion that smells like brisk ice tea(what were they thinking) and so Amy now smells like brisk and I have to sleep with this. 4 hours later and we are back on the road. The dirt road is SO less creepy in the day light, but I loose Chelsea as a passenger at the first gas station because once again Katie cant handle her life, so I am left with no enforcer and it is just me and Amy. But minus the fact that I held my bathroom break from Jacksonville to Titusville 3hrs, and so I am in need of the facilities. And I ate half a piece of chocolate and set it down, well sure enough the sun melted it, so amy had to use her hands as a napkin, and I am stuck licking my Ipod. Not a good situation, but she was secure I located a bathroom and we finally reached our destination of my lovely household!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Im going to need a moment....
So as stated and semi promised from the earlier post more drama did find me, and it was glorious...it is not as much as the morning/afternoon, but the content is right up my ally for blog worthy.
I am in a sign language class, and I love it. I am actually pretty good at it, and I just have always been fascinated by it. Now in learning sign language you also learn like the correct connotations to use a sign and what its implications are. Well that is something that tonight I realized I need to pay more attention to.
We all had to sign a song in front of the class for a grade, now I was sick last week, so me and my partner had to go this week. We had only practiced together once, but both separately had been working on it hoping that when it came together it would produce something that resembled a duet. So we decide that we will meet up before class to just hammer out any final things and make sure it flows well.A quick precursor to the song performance, I had to sign a story last semester and I was not nervous at all until I walked in the room and then I was literally crippled with fear, so since I was so calm and confident about this song I was hoping the same thing did not happen and I would be left in front of the class as a statue instead of an interpreter.I also have this problem when I mess up I call myself out, like 99 percent of the time it probably goes unnoticed until I feel the intense need to call myself out. And that happened with the story, I did not know the sign and I made one up, I do not think she even batted an eye and yet in the middle of my story I say..."well that definatly was the wrong sign I don't even know what I did." See what I am saying unnecessary...yet it happens all the time in general conversations too, I will say something stupid and before anyone responds I will repeat what I said and then say what am I talking about that is so stupid...
So for the song I am praying against this urge but as we are practicing I mess up and just say SHAMBLES and start laughing...my partner is just like um you can't just do that, I am like ahhh...right. So I see that we still need practice so we just keep going over it and over it. It is all going good and I am thinking that it looks good, and we are about to stop when I notice that she is doing a different sign for "need." So I ask her about it and she is just like yeah I am doing need as in must have etc. So then I think back on what sign I am using (keep in mind for 2 weeks and these like past 5 times I have been signing this) and I realize that I have been using the sign for desire/want. I don't really think too much of it and so I am like ah let's just do it again. We get halfway through (this sign is used repeatedly) and then I am like you are going to need to pause this I need a moment the reality of what I have been signing/saying has just hit me. She pauses it and I loose it laughing...the word I had been using was like an intentional(if done a certain way/the way I was, but not on purpose)sexual desire....
yeah so this WHOLE time I was saying that I was in that sense desiring God that way...I am pretty sure that is soo not sound doctrinally or theologically and might even cross many more lines. So after a good laugh and evaluation, I decide it is best that I go with the way my partner is signing it. Obviously I need more practice now to make sure that does not slip out in front of an actual understanding audience, but I am reminded that it just might because I had been doing it that way for so long.
Well ladies and gentleman it did happen I got caught up and it just slipped out, so now not only do inappropriate things slip out of my mouth, now my signs are being affected. So it comes out and I just look at the girl who was there for the practice and we share a glance and I just push through the rest of the song.
YEah it was a great performance other than that Becca(my partner was shining strong comparatively ) so I guess it came out alright in the end...I just hope my teacher did not catch it, we might have a discussion about it later...but for now I am just glad I did not rat myself out lol.
I am in a sign language class, and I love it. I am actually pretty good at it, and I just have always been fascinated by it. Now in learning sign language you also learn like the correct connotations to use a sign and what its implications are. Well that is something that tonight I realized I need to pay more attention to.
We all had to sign a song in front of the class for a grade, now I was sick last week, so me and my partner had to go this week. We had only practiced together once, but both separately had been working on it hoping that when it came together it would produce something that resembled a duet. So we decide that we will meet up before class to just hammer out any final things and make sure it flows well.A quick precursor to the song performance, I had to sign a story last semester and I was not nervous at all until I walked in the room and then I was literally crippled with fear, so since I was so calm and confident about this song I was hoping the same thing did not happen and I would be left in front of the class as a statue instead of an interpreter.I also have this problem when I mess up I call myself out, like 99 percent of the time it probably goes unnoticed until I feel the intense need to call myself out. And that happened with the story, I did not know the sign and I made one up, I do not think she even batted an eye and yet in the middle of my story I say..."well that definatly was the wrong sign I don't even know what I did." See what I am saying unnecessary...yet it happens all the time in general conversations too, I will say something stupid and before anyone responds I will repeat what I said and then say what am I talking about that is so stupid...
So for the song I am praying against this urge but as we are practicing I mess up and just say SHAMBLES and start laughing...my partner is just like um you can't just do that, I am like ahhh...right. So I see that we still need practice so we just keep going over it and over it. It is all going good and I am thinking that it looks good, and we are about to stop when I notice that she is doing a different sign for "need." So I ask her about it and she is just like yeah I am doing need as in must have etc. So then I think back on what sign I am using (keep in mind for 2 weeks and these like past 5 times I have been signing this) and I realize that I have been using the sign for desire/want. I don't really think too much of it and so I am like ah let's just do it again. We get halfway through (this sign is used repeatedly) and then I am like you are going to need to pause this I need a moment the reality of what I have been signing/saying has just hit me. She pauses it and I loose it laughing...the word I had been using was like an intentional(if done a certain way/the way I was, but not on purpose)sexual desire....
yeah so this WHOLE time I was saying that I was in that sense desiring God that way...I am pretty sure that is soo not sound doctrinally or theologically and might even cross many more lines. So after a good laugh and evaluation, I decide it is best that I go with the way my partner is signing it. Obviously I need more practice now to make sure that does not slip out in front of an actual understanding audience, but I am reminded that it just might because I had been doing it that way for so long.
Well ladies and gentleman it did happen I got caught up and it just slipped out, so now not only do inappropriate things slip out of my mouth, now my signs are being affected. So it comes out and I just look at the girl who was there for the practice and we share a glance and I just push through the rest of the song.
YEah it was a great performance other than that Becca(my partner was shining strong comparatively ) so I guess it came out alright in the end...I just hope my teacher did not catch it, we might have a discussion about it later...but for now I am just glad I did not rat myself out lol.
Turabian nights lead to interesting days...
So normally I try and narrow my blog down to one concise theme or occurrence but this I cannot for too much is needed to be said. It is only Tuesday and yet I feel like I have enough material for 3 blogs, so I will just condense them all into this one and hopefully something coherent will come out of it...
So we will start with last night. So I thought that my paper was done, so i trot back to the hill at 8:30 and just chill till LPG, I had set up with Jess to have "turabian nights" with her after so it was all good, paper in my mind accomplished. (Turabian nights for all those who are wondering is just me singing the Arabian nights song a million times obnoxiously trying to sound like that Arabian guy, replacing "Arabian" with "turabian" and adding Jess's name in there a couple of times, and she is just helping me format my paper. So it's really nothing speacial)So we are sitting there finally getting down to buisness(that took a while)and she makes a realization that changes my LIFE! My paper is not 10 pages(meeting the requirement) it is only 9, and by 9 I mean barely 9. So inside I begin to crumble and then I almost lose composure all together, until Jess grasps me by the shoulders and tells me how to live. So now at 11:45 I am taking myself down to the Clab to finish this paper that I thought was done. I am NOT a happy camper, and so when I get there I just am trying to find any available computer, but they all are taken up by people who are doing utter nonsense. And here is where the majority of this whole story lies...Now that I am a constant partaker of the Clab and all its glory I have noticed some things that need to be addressed.
Why are people there that are not doing homework/assignments that require you to stay up till 2? This is not a one time thing that I noticed, every time I have gone there, the computers are filled with people NOT doing worthwhile things (and yes I am allowed to be the judge of that I waist enough time to know what wasting time looks like) Things like watching big brother, that can happen in your dorm, I mean you are not talking to anyone so it is not like you are going there for a social reason, SO WHY ARE YOU TAKING A COMPUTER I NEED! I mean I would love to use the excuse with my college professor.."sorry my assignment is not done I could not use the computer because someone desperately needed to watch their reality TV at 1 AM, and I just could not finish my HUGE paper" or this one...painting your nails....um why are you sitting at a computer and painting your nails at 1:45AM? Nothing within me understands this,you have a room, and no assignment is tying you to the COMPUTER so why.O another people who get a computer sign on and then take a nap....WHAT?! So sufficed to say I am just wondering if the majority of LU campus even knows what the CLAB stands for, let me inform you...COMPUTER LAB, and in that title you should understand necessary behavior that should happen there. So after I sequester a computer 3HRS later my little diddy on Justification is finished, and printed so at least I did not really have to use the "big brother" excuse even though it is legitimate.
So I wake up for my 7 40 after that lovely escaped at the CLAB and I am NOT prepared for the day. I have taken out a mini vendetta against showering when the cleaning staff is here (it is just too much, i always somehow am in the way of their cleaning and told to leave, but it is awkward cause I am trying to take a shower) so that issue should have been addressed yesterday and I did not have proper amount of time to take care of it before class, so now I am regretting the vendetta, but still have to live with the consequences. I make it through class through my women's bible study (beth moore was telling me how to break free and I appreciated it) so I go to meet up with my group for Childrens Min. In which we have to give a 40min. lesson, and while I was sick someone in the group decided puppets would be a novel idea, to that I say o no!(now I was on a puppet team for a good 3yrs but I do not condone that for this lesson) and so this issue was going to be addressed, but thankfully the "puppeteer" did not show so I took creative authority and cut his act, harsh but o so necessary. Now as we are going through the lesson I am just getting angry because the curriculum is CRAP, there is no other term, and this makes me very upset, on one level because my teacher recommended it. I will have to have a separate blog about these Childrens Min presentations because if you know me and my passion for this ministry a lot needs to be said about what is going on in this class. So now due to the curriculum not providing I have to write a whole story and lesson, which I was not ready to do. By this time my head is spinning (partially due to the antibiotics there is a warning about that) and partially because now I have even more to do before I go home for Spring Break, which at this point I have no idea when that even is because the time is just in a constant change.
After this meeting I meet up with my sister(basically she found out where I was and stalked me) but I am so thankful she showed up because it was about 25min. before I had an accountability with a PL, and if she had not been there for me to vent to for those 25 min that poor PL would have been hit with a whole lot of my life because I have a problem of just vomiting my life on innocent people when I am overwhelmed and generally they are not prepared to handle it. But my sister is a seasoned veteran in handling my chaos, and so she just took it and after that I was fine. It is also a good thing that she was there because I would have not been able to handle what happened in accountability as well as i did, had I not released some (by some I mean I basically mean a whole buffet) of my frustrations.
Here is what went down...I am in accountability and we are talking, it is going good and then this guy with a microphone and a camera man walk into Jazzmans. Now I already in my mind am foreseeing trouble but because we were in the middle of a conversation that looked real official I was hoping the trouble would not be with us...how wrong I was. So man with the mic walks past me and is like "O this girl is avoiding eye contact(meaning me cause I was cause he was foolish, and I was kinda looking at the person I was WITH) I am going to talk to her." Um excuse me what part of that sounds like a good idea? So he asks me with his mic and the camera man standing there, "what is your favorite Disney character?" Now normally I would be excited about this question, but I just do not like this kid so the fact that he is talking about Disney bothers me, so we are just like what is this for? and he is like "o its online I'm going to give you a card(checks pockets)o nvm I dont have one but he does" and I am like "no card no answer" so the camera man slaps some piece of paper down then tells me just to look them up on FB, and takes it back. So I answer Ariel, apparently that is not good enough so he asks me why I explain more he responds with a why again (real sound interviewing I might add). and so this exchange of an answer and him responding with why goes on for like 5 questions, and then he has the gall to say that he thinks I was just making it up...well let me say this if I was making it up you wouldn't know anyway! Just because you have a microphone doesn't mean you can act like you know my life! And Just because you are being filmed doesn't mean it is appropriate to were sunglasses inside, who are you cyclops from x-men... I highly doubt that and one last thing, just because you are wearing a blazer doesn't make you official. So after he is done questioning me he moves on and creates more drama in the Jazzmans. He like told some girl he hated her headband and then polled the room about who liked it. He honestly was a jerk, I think he was trying to be like witty reporter/interviewer, but it just came off as JERK! and he was with option LU and after my encounter with them I just have to ask is jerk one of the options because I was not aware that was a "perk" at LU. And I am left wondering after this do I just attract this random collides with utter insanity or is it just a regular occurrence with everyone and I am just looking at it wrong.
So after my wonderful CLAB experience and lack of shower, shambled Chilrens ministry meeting, and my life being challenged by option LU, one would think my day would be over, but this is my life and it is only 1pm so there is much more to ensue....just wait and see.
So we will start with last night. So I thought that my paper was done, so i trot back to the hill at 8:30 and just chill till LPG, I had set up with Jess to have "turabian nights" with her after so it was all good, paper in my mind accomplished. (Turabian nights for all those who are wondering is just me singing the Arabian nights song a million times obnoxiously trying to sound like that Arabian guy, replacing "Arabian" with "turabian" and adding Jess's name in there a couple of times, and she is just helping me format my paper. So it's really nothing speacial)So we are sitting there finally getting down to buisness(that took a while)and she makes a realization that changes my LIFE! My paper is not 10 pages(meeting the requirement) it is only 9, and by 9 I mean barely 9. So inside I begin to crumble and then I almost lose composure all together, until Jess grasps me by the shoulders and tells me how to live. So now at 11:45 I am taking myself down to the Clab to finish this paper that I thought was done. I am NOT a happy camper, and so when I get there I just am trying to find any available computer, but they all are taken up by people who are doing utter nonsense. And here is where the majority of this whole story lies...Now that I am a constant partaker of the Clab and all its glory I have noticed some things that need to be addressed.
Why are people there that are not doing homework/assignments that require you to stay up till 2? This is not a one time thing that I noticed, every time I have gone there, the computers are filled with people NOT doing worthwhile things (and yes I am allowed to be the judge of that I waist enough time to know what wasting time looks like) Things like watching big brother, that can happen in your dorm, I mean you are not talking to anyone so it is not like you are going there for a social reason, SO WHY ARE YOU TAKING A COMPUTER I NEED! I mean I would love to use the excuse with my college professor.."sorry my assignment is not done I could not use the computer because someone desperately needed to watch their reality TV at 1 AM, and I just could not finish my HUGE paper" or this one...painting your nails....um why are you sitting at a computer and painting your nails at 1:45AM? Nothing within me understands this,you have a room, and no assignment is tying you to the COMPUTER so why.O another people who get a computer sign on and then take a nap....WHAT?! So sufficed to say I am just wondering if the majority of LU campus even knows what the CLAB stands for, let me inform you...COMPUTER LAB, and in that title you should understand necessary behavior that should happen there. So after I sequester a computer 3HRS later my little diddy on Justification is finished, and printed so at least I did not really have to use the "big brother" excuse even though it is legitimate.
So I wake up for my 7 40 after that lovely escaped at the CLAB and I am NOT prepared for the day. I have taken out a mini vendetta against showering when the cleaning staff is here (it is just too much, i always somehow am in the way of their cleaning and told to leave, but it is awkward cause I am trying to take a shower) so that issue should have been addressed yesterday and I did not have proper amount of time to take care of it before class, so now I am regretting the vendetta, but still have to live with the consequences. I make it through class through my women's bible study (beth moore was telling me how to break free and I appreciated it) so I go to meet up with my group for Childrens Min. In which we have to give a 40min. lesson, and while I was sick someone in the group decided puppets would be a novel idea, to that I say o no!(now I was on a puppet team for a good 3yrs but I do not condone that for this lesson) and so this issue was going to be addressed, but thankfully the "puppeteer" did not show so I took creative authority and cut his act, harsh but o so necessary. Now as we are going through the lesson I am just getting angry because the curriculum is CRAP, there is no other term, and this makes me very upset, on one level because my teacher recommended it. I will have to have a separate blog about these Childrens Min presentations because if you know me and my passion for this ministry a lot needs to be said about what is going on in this class. So now due to the curriculum not providing I have to write a whole story and lesson, which I was not ready to do. By this time my head is spinning (partially due to the antibiotics there is a warning about that) and partially because now I have even more to do before I go home for Spring Break, which at this point I have no idea when that even is because the time is just in a constant change.
After this meeting I meet up with my sister(basically she found out where I was and stalked me) but I am so thankful she showed up because it was about 25min. before I had an accountability with a PL, and if she had not been there for me to vent to for those 25 min that poor PL would have been hit with a whole lot of my life because I have a problem of just vomiting my life on innocent people when I am overwhelmed and generally they are not prepared to handle it. But my sister is a seasoned veteran in handling my chaos, and so she just took it and after that I was fine. It is also a good thing that she was there because I would have not been able to handle what happened in accountability as well as i did, had I not released some (by some I mean I basically mean a whole buffet) of my frustrations.
Here is what went down...I am in accountability and we are talking, it is going good and then this guy with a microphone and a camera man walk into Jazzmans. Now I already in my mind am foreseeing trouble but because we were in the middle of a conversation that looked real official I was hoping the trouble would not be with us...how wrong I was. So man with the mic walks past me and is like "O this girl is avoiding eye contact(meaning me cause I was cause he was foolish, and I was kinda looking at the person I was WITH) I am going to talk to her." Um excuse me what part of that sounds like a good idea? So he asks me with his mic and the camera man standing there, "what is your favorite Disney character?" Now normally I would be excited about this question, but I just do not like this kid so the fact that he is talking about Disney bothers me, so we are just like what is this for? and he is like "o its online I'm going to give you a card(checks pockets)o nvm I dont have one but he does" and I am like "no card no answer" so the camera man slaps some piece of paper down then tells me just to look them up on FB, and takes it back. So I answer Ariel, apparently that is not good enough so he asks me why I explain more he responds with a why again (real sound interviewing I might add). and so this exchange of an answer and him responding with why goes on for like 5 questions, and then he has the gall to say that he thinks I was just making it up...well let me say this if I was making it up you wouldn't know anyway! Just because you have a microphone doesn't mean you can act like you know my life! And Just because you are being filmed doesn't mean it is appropriate to were sunglasses inside, who are you cyclops from x-men... I highly doubt that and one last thing, just because you are wearing a blazer doesn't make you official. So after he is done questioning me he moves on and creates more drama in the Jazzmans. He like told some girl he hated her headband and then polled the room about who liked it. He honestly was a jerk, I think he was trying to be like witty reporter/interviewer, but it just came off as JERK! and he was with option LU and after my encounter with them I just have to ask is jerk one of the options because I was not aware that was a "perk" at LU. And I am left wondering after this do I just attract this random collides with utter insanity or is it just a regular occurrence with everyone and I am just looking at it wrong.
So after my wonderful CLAB experience and lack of shower, shambled Chilrens ministry meeting, and my life being challenged by option LU, one would think my day would be over, but this is my life and it is only 1pm so there is much more to ensue....just wait and see.
Friday, March 5, 2010
And so we meet again...
SO today I began the embarking of a journey that I all to quickly realize was not equipped for. But I mean who was I kidding though I, I work constantly out of the consequences of procrastination all the while telling myself that this is how I work best. Well I am starting to think I am lying because the products of these rampant work binges are not conducive to my social life, appearance, or desire to appear as a controlled individual. Rather I come off the opposite leaving people with the same thoughts of "who is that girl, and why can she not handle life?" Well all of that was a precursor to what unfolded today.
I set out that today would be the day that I began, and hopefully worked on some of my Justification paper.(Now to all of you who are wondering why...why are you a Childrens ministry major taking classes such as Bible 350 and Romans and Theo 350 and such, I respond with, It is because apparently children need to know sound doctrine too, I know crazy thought...but I am enjoying this class it's just the projects and my procrastination/level of handling stress do not mix so well) SO I have to write this paper all in this weekend(entirely my fault I understand, but I am not looking for sympathy,enough aspects of my life already receive that so I generally do not campaign for it)so I set out...sounds easy enough though I mean we are talking about me here, who spent basically my entire life justifying whatever I did cause No one tells me how to live, but this Justification is definitely different therefore I am working at an already set disadvantage.
Now as I am approaching the Library I realize,not even being dramatic here, I have only been in this place 4 times, and each time I feel even more out of place. But I am clinging to the fact that I basically know what I am doing, but that hope leaves me the second I walk through the doors. So my goal was to just get some of the books and do the research, copy some pages, and get a general idea of what I would be writing the next day. So obviously I have nothing with me but my notes and notebook so it strikes me I need a table, like a work station(child mentality). So I walk to the back and I should have known better because I was about to enter a place that I am pretty sure was designed with me not in mind. And that is ladies and gentlemen the Library quiet zone. It was like it had a force field or something because the key chain on my backpack that was making a noise (which annoys me too but I still forget and am too lazy to take off) was not bothering anyone, but I enter in this "zone" and within seconds receive the scariest glances from multiple girls whose work was apparently being hindered due to my little jangling noise. So I quickly find a spot and regroup. But my regrouping only consisted of me going to the bathroom, and once returning I try to look up the books on the list but FAIL. Then I make the decision it is better to look like a helpless newb and ask the people for help, than to try myself and waste time. So I ask and apparently my question was valid and not childlike so with some of my confidence back I go to get the books on reserve(the whole time trying to act like I knew what i was doing but had no idea, it did not last long though because I hit my low point when I just asked her to give me whatever she thought looked good, I mean that doesn't even make sense, but of course it did to me at the time) and so kind women says "alright I just need your ID"...right my Id CRAP! Thinking that I just left it in the back I walk all the way back there and its not there, and so after I have a conversation with myself of where else it would be I realize I left it at the front where I just was. GREAT, so back to the front I get the books and now at least I have material to work with.But as i sit down I realize that I still have NO clue what I even need to be doing, and so inside I being to become all too overwhelmed so I shoot off a text to my spiritual and emotional accounter,(the Jessica Bates...for more on her see blog about LUPD)she will call me later and I at this point am so ever being quite and talk to her anyway avoiding all looks,and yet I am determined to use this time and not waste it. So I just start reading and I honestly am understanding the whole thing better but I have NOTHING to start writing. And every time I think I do the anxiety floods in and I am freaking out about citations and commentary and trying to sound theological, and so the pen never meets the paper,which when a 10 page plus paper is required that kinda thing needs to be happening.
Then I lift it up to the Lord and wisdom hits me. This class is on Romans...do I even know what Romans says about Justification? So I look through it and guess what it all starts to come together. Funny how that works out. So this project is starting to look a little less daunting,but it is still to be done. so I am bracing myself for the impact of when the true weight of this hits me(which will probably be Sunday/Monday cause it's due Tuesday)but until then I call today's little run in with the library visit a success. I caused strife in the quiet zone, I had the library workers do something besides shelve books, someone had to give me a pep-talk, and it brought my visit count up to a solid 5. O and I got FREE copies!!!!yeah finally the people I know have power that I can use!win... or so I think...well see the weekend will be the true test of progress and productivity, so lets keep our fingers crossed and our prayers interceding cause Lord knows anytime I have a project my appearance management goes downhill...and it is not pretty.
I set out that today would be the day that I began, and hopefully worked on some of my Justification paper.(Now to all of you who are wondering why...why are you a Childrens ministry major taking classes such as Bible 350 and Romans and Theo 350 and such, I respond with, It is because apparently children need to know sound doctrine too, I know crazy thought...but I am enjoying this class it's just the projects and my procrastination/level of handling stress do not mix so well) SO I have to write this paper all in this weekend(entirely my fault I understand, but I am not looking for sympathy,enough aspects of my life already receive that so I generally do not campaign for it)so I set out...sounds easy enough though I mean we are talking about me here, who spent basically my entire life justifying whatever I did cause No one tells me how to live, but this Justification is definitely different therefore I am working at an already set disadvantage.
Now as I am approaching the Library I realize,not even being dramatic here, I have only been in this place 4 times, and each time I feel even more out of place. But I am clinging to the fact that I basically know what I am doing, but that hope leaves me the second I walk through the doors. So my goal was to just get some of the books and do the research, copy some pages, and get a general idea of what I would be writing the next day. So obviously I have nothing with me but my notes and notebook so it strikes me I need a table, like a work station(child mentality). So I walk to the back and I should have known better because I was about to enter a place that I am pretty sure was designed with me not in mind. And that is ladies and gentlemen the Library quiet zone. It was like it had a force field or something because the key chain on my backpack that was making a noise (which annoys me too but I still forget and am too lazy to take off) was not bothering anyone, but I enter in this "zone" and within seconds receive the scariest glances from multiple girls whose work was apparently being hindered due to my little jangling noise. So I quickly find a spot and regroup. But my regrouping only consisted of me going to the bathroom, and once returning I try to look up the books on the list but FAIL. Then I make the decision it is better to look like a helpless newb and ask the people for help, than to try myself and waste time. So I ask and apparently my question was valid and not childlike so with some of my confidence back I go to get the books on reserve(the whole time trying to act like I knew what i was doing but had no idea, it did not last long though because I hit my low point when I just asked her to give me whatever she thought looked good, I mean that doesn't even make sense, but of course it did to me at the time) and so kind women says "alright I just need your ID"...right my Id CRAP! Thinking that I just left it in the back I walk all the way back there and its not there, and so after I have a conversation with myself of where else it would be I realize I left it at the front where I just was. GREAT, so back to the front I get the books and now at least I have material to work with.But as i sit down I realize that I still have NO clue what I even need to be doing, and so inside I being to become all too overwhelmed so I shoot off a text to my spiritual and emotional accounter,(the Jessica Bates...for more on her see blog about LUPD)she will call me later and I at this point am so ever being quite and talk to her anyway avoiding all looks,and yet I am determined to use this time and not waste it. So I just start reading and I honestly am understanding the whole thing better but I have NOTHING to start writing. And every time I think I do the anxiety floods in and I am freaking out about citations and commentary and trying to sound theological, and so the pen never meets the paper,which when a 10 page plus paper is required that kinda thing needs to be happening.
Then I lift it up to the Lord and wisdom hits me. This class is on Romans...do I even know what Romans says about Justification? So I look through it and guess what it all starts to come together. Funny how that works out. So this project is starting to look a little less daunting,but it is still to be done. so I am bracing myself for the impact of when the true weight of this hits me(which will probably be Sunday/Monday cause it's due Tuesday)but until then I call today's little run in with the library visit a success. I caused strife in the quiet zone, I had the library workers do something besides shelve books, someone had to give me a pep-talk, and it brought my visit count up to a solid 5. O and I got FREE copies!!!!yeah finally the people I know have power that I can use!win... or so I think...well see the weekend will be the true test of progress and productivity, so lets keep our fingers crossed and our prayers interceding cause Lord knows anytime I have a project my appearance management goes downhill...and it is not pretty.
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